The Law Firm of Anthony Diaz

(407) 565-5908
Listen to the Divorce Hour

Anthony Diaz

Navigating the Journey: Insights and Support for Women Going Through Divorce

By

If you look online or perhaps in the self-help section at the local bookstore, you will find a lot of books explaining how to pick up the pieces of your life after your divorce is over. There are many positive aspects to the fresh start, the new beginnings, and the opportunities available to you after your divorce.

Women's Journey Through Divorce

But what about during your divorce? If you have a quick divorce, perhaps one that resolves collaboratively or through a quick and early mediation, this may not be an issue, given that the divorce case itself is so short.

But for longer, more contentious, and thus, drawn-out divorces, the period of going through your divorce can last much longer—perhaps years. How do you cope with and manage your life during divorce?

Plan Ahead

One of the first things that you can do, if possible, is to plan for a drawn-out divorce in advance—even if you think your case may resolve amicably and quickly.

Plan out how you will pay the bills or where you will live. According to one study in 2018, women have an almost 30% reduction in household income during and after a divorce. If you are amicable with your spouse, plan out a tentative schedule with the kids (even though this tentative schedule will not be legally binding, it may at least give you some framework and consistency once the divorce case begins).

Taking Care of Business

Are there things that your husband or wife took care of during the marriage? Many people find that they are overwhelmed at the prospect of suddenly going from sharing household chores, duties, and responsibilities to having to do all of them on their own.

In many marriages, one spouse has less information than the other when it comes to insurance policies, passwords, contact with creditors (like mortgage companies or car loan companies), or other important entities. Try to gather as much information as you can so that you are prepared to manage these things on your own while the divorce is pending—all while possibly helping raise one or more children and working.

Getting Social Help

Some people going through divorce find that they get some solace in dating again quickly, even while their divorce case is still pending. Others prefer to wait much longer. Others will not date but will find social circles to occupy their time and to divert themselves.

Nowadays, there are ample groups that can be found online and that meet in real life. Try searching for singles groups or social groups that meet in your area—even if you are not looking to date again, many of these groups engage in social activities and gatherings, and many may even have other members who are going through or who went through exactly what you are going through.

Someone to Talk to

One of the best strategies for navigating the stresses of a divorce is simply having someone to talk to. That can be a family member or a friend. They do not have to give legal advice; they just have to be a helpful and friendly ear. In fact, you do not have to speak with them about your case at all. Just having someone to vent to after a tough day at work can do a lot for your mental health during a divorce case.

Speak With Your Employer

If you work with a boss and you are comfortable doing so, consider having a talk with your boss about your divorce. This is so that your employer knows that you may need to leave every now and then to pick up the children from school, or take the children to an after-school activity, or get to a government office to obtain or renew paperwork – things that your spouse may have helped you with when you were married.

Communicating the difficulties you are facing and the time that you will need to your employer can keep the lines of communication open so that your employer does not wonder why, out of the blue, you may be out of work more than you were or showing up late more frequently than you were in the past.

Grief is Natural

Whether your divorce is amicable or not, grief is a large part of a divorce—even divorces where you may have initiated the divorce, where you were very unhappy in the marriage, or where you are truly happy to be getting away from your spouse, or where you know the divorce is the right thing to do.

Grief can come from feeling the loss of future expectations or of a life that you thought you would have but will not.

That is natural and to be expected. Do not be afraid to get professional help or even just help from friends. There is nothing wrong with, on the one hand, wanting or initiating the divorce while at the same time feeling very sad or guilty about it happening.

Using Apps to Communicate

Many people simply do not want to communicate with their ex after a divorce. But if you have minor children, communication may be a necessity for the purposes of time-sharing and other issues regarding the kids.

Speak to your attorney about, or look into, using parental communication apps if you really cannot communicate effectively with the other parent. These apps filter out hostile or unwanted communications or communications that do not relate to the children.

They also encourage both parents to be cordial to each other in that many apps will record the communications between the parties. Just having the app there can be a security blanket, as it is not the “direct texting” that many people want to avoid having with the other parent.

Get a Helpful Attorney

Remember that your attorney is not just your legal advisor in a divorce. This is someone who will be helping you deal with very emotionally charged issues.

Find an attorney who, of course, knows family law, but also someone who understands the personal side of divorce and how it affects people. The more comfortable you are speaking with your attorney, the more likely you will be to ask questions, and thus, the less stressful your divorce will be, armed with answers to those questions.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

If you find this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce: 4 Tips on How to Manage the Holidays

By

If you are going through a divorce, how you are going to handle the holidays can be a challenge. One of the most important things to remember is to focus on what truly matters: the well-being of your children. Here are four tips for managing the holidays with grace and ensuring a smooth transition for your family:

Honor Old Traditions, Create New Ones

Holidays and Divorce

One of the most difficult aspects of the holidays during a divorce is the shift in traditions. As a couple, you have probably shared holiday routines that are now disrupted. It is important to recognize that while you may want to create new traditions for yourself and your children, maintaining some familiar ones could also be comforting to them. Ask your children what traditions they value and, if possible, honor those. At the same time, introduce new rituals that represent the start of a new chapter, while keeping their happiness at the forefront.

Consider Sharing the Holidays, If Appropriate

If you are going through a non-adversarial divorce, like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce, spending some of the holidays together might be an option. However, this only works if you both feel comfortable. Any lingering tension could negatively affect the atmosphere and the children. You should also assess how your children feel about sharing the holidays. Some children may enjoy the experience, while others may prefer celebrating separately with each parent, potentially enjoying the benefits of “two Christmases.”

Take Care of Yourself

In going through your divorce during the holidays, you may feel a sense of loneliness when your children spend time with the other parent. Be proactive and plan ahead. Reach out to family or friends, join holiday gatherings, or use this time to indulge in activities you love but rarely have time for. Taking care of yourself is an important part of maintaining emotional well-being during this transitional period. You should also remember that your children are happy, spending time with both parents. Knowing that your children are happy should bring some peace.

Communication is Key

Lastly, communication with your co-parent is critical. Plan the holiday schedule in advance and keep the lines of communication open, to ensure that decisions about the children are made collaboratively. This reduces stress and ensures that the holidays run smoothly, allowing your children to benefit from a peaceful environment.

Ultimately, putting your children first and maintaining a cooperative approach with your ex-partner is the key to a successful holiday season during a divorce.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

The Impact of Divorce on Children: Nurturing Emotional Well-Being

By

If you are getting divorced and there are children in the marriage, you probably already know that the divorce will have an impact on the children’s lives and well-being. That is not to say they will forever struggle; plenty of children can and do thrive after divorce. But the fact remains that when there are children involved, both divorcing parents need to give some thought to how any divorce will affect the children’s lives.

Every Case is Different

It would be nice to just say how exactly divorce will affect all children. But that is impossible because of the variables involved in divorcing with children. Factors that may play into how children adapt to and cope with divorcing children can include:

Impact of Divorce on Children
  • The age and maturity of the children
  • The extent to which the parents are hostile or fighting with each other, either before the divorce or during the actual divorce process
  • The children’s own mental health or pre-existing mental conditions
  • How the children were doing in their lives, even before the divorce
  • The extent of upheaval in the children’s lives, post-divorce

Communication is Key

You do not want the divorce to come as a surprise out of the blue. Certainly, many older kids can look at or observe their parents and just tell that divorce is imminent. Younger kids may not have this capability. Either way, discussion is key.

One of the best things a parent can do is discuss with children about divorce, what you and your spouse will be going through, and how it will affect the kids. Unfortunately, many older kids know about divorce from movies and TV—not the best model of what kids can expect in the real world.

Putting Children in the Middle

Hopefully, you already know that you should never pit children against parents or have them make choices. Even seemingly “neutral” choices, like, “Would you rather go to school near mom or near dad,” or “Mommy will stay near your friends, but dad may be farther away,” or “Who would you rather take you to school in the mornings” can have the effect of making a child have to choose between one parent or the other. That can cause anxiety and stress.

How to Approach Divorce

What to say to the children when divorce is looming largely depends on their ages and maturity.

A younger child may need to be told that mommy and daddy still love them—this may be a concern for a younger child. An older child may be aware of this but may have more practical concerns, like whether he will still be able to stay in his school, whether he will be caught between mom and dad fighting, or whether he will still be able to play sports.

Signs of Distress

Once the divorce is underway, the challenge becomes recognizing signs of maladaptation, stress, and trauma. That is not always easy to spot—especially in pre-teens and teenagers, who may not be so open about their feelings.

Look for changes (mostly negative ones) in the child’s life. For example, if grades tend to fall, or if there is less time spent with friends or on extracurricular activities that kids used to enjoy. Any signs of being uncooperative or withdrawing from activities or social engagements are signs that the child may be having a difficult time coping.

Younger children may have more confusing signs, such as appearing to be ill, crying more, or being hostile or belligerent. The child may be more emotionally fragile—he or she may cry more often or get angry quicker or frustrated more easily. The child may say that these changes are for a non-divorce related reason, but in reality, the stress, fear, and anxiety over the divorce are the real cause of these otherwise unexplained behavioral changes.

Hearing or knowing that parents are fighting in the divorce over children’s issues, like time-sharing, custody, or support, can lead to feelings of guilt. Children may feel like they are the cause of the divorce. Parents should make sure that children know that they haven’t done anything wrong to cause the divorce.

Long Term Challenges

Then there are the long-term challenges that children of divorce face, many of which won’t be obvious right away but which divorced parents need to be aware of as they raise their children post-divorce.

Research has shown that divorced children are more likely to engage in destructive and even criminal behaviors. They also may lose the ability to have healthy interpersonal relationships. They may be more susceptible to illnesses, and some say stress, trauma, and lack of sleep due to anxiety may be contributing factors to the increased rate of illness.

Mitigating the Negative Impacts

While there is no one-size-fits-all cure to avoid the negative impact of divorce on kids, there are things that parents can do to make life easier for their children. The obvious two are to avoid fighting (and the kids’ exposure to parental fighting or disparagement of the other parent), and to communicate with kids to answer their questions and concerns.

Beyond that, many suggest that parents maintain the routines in the children’s lives and keep the kids’ pre-divorce life intact as much as possible. Once a post-divorce schedule is established, try to maintain the routine—while a haphazard, “play it by ear” time-sharing schedule may seem easier for some parents, it is not good for kids, who do better knowing where they will be and when.

You, too, can set an example by protecting kids from your emotions—where possible, they should not see you cry, lash out in anger, or have other displays of drastic emotion.

Professional mental health counselors can be of assistance as well, and parents should seek out help when necessary. Parents should also tell teachers, schools, coaches, or others about the divorce so that they are more tolerant and understanding of the emotional changes that the child is experiencing.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce: How To Be in Control of Your Future

By

One of the most pressing concerns for anyone going through a divorce is whether they can control their future or if it is left in the hands of someone else—like a judge. The answer largely depends on the approach you take during the divorce process. Understanding the different options for how you divorce can help you to make decisions about your future.

Litigation: The Court Decides

Be in control

When most people think about divorce, they immediately envision a courtroom, where a judge presides over the case and ultimately makes all the decisions for you and your spouse. This divorce process is known as litigation. While litigation is a common divorce method, it is also the one where you have the least control over the outcome.

In litigation, you and your spouse present your cases, and a judge makes the final decisions on issues like property division, child custody and spousal support. Although you may have opportunities to settle the case before it reaches the judge, once it does, you relinquish control. The judge, who does not know the intricacies of your life, will decide the outcome based on the law and the evidence presented. This can lead to decisions that neither party is entirely happy with, leaving your future in the hands of the court.

Mediation: A Middle Ground

Mediation offers a more collaborative approach compared to litigation. In mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral third party—the mediator—to reach an agreement on various aspects of your divorce. The key advantage of mediation is that it allows you both to have a say in the final outcome.

However, mediation does not come with a binding agreement to stay out of court. If you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement during mediation, the next step could be litigation, putting your future back in the hands of a judge. While the mediation route offers more control than litigation, it still carries the risk of an unresolved dispute that could end up in court.

Collaborative Divorce: Maximum Control

If you are looking to maintain the most control over your future, a Collaborative Divorce is the best process. In choosing a Collaborative Divorce, you both agree at the outset to settle the divorce outside of court. This agreement is the cornerstone of the process, motivating you both to negotiate and find mutually acceptable solutions.

In the Collaborative Divorce process, you each set your goals, and the negotiations are geared towards trying to meet those goals. Because the process is designed to keep the case out of court, you are more likely to work together constructively. The final decisions are made by you and your spouse, not by a judge, giving you the highest degree of control over your future.

Choosing the Right Path

Ultimately, the control you have over your future in a divorce depends on the process you choose. Litigation offers the least control, where decisions are made by a judge. Mediation allows for more control, but there is still a possibility that unresolved issues could end up in court. Opting for a Collaborative Divorce, on the other hand, gives you the most control, as it is driven by mutual agreement and a commitment to stay out of court.

Understanding these options can empower you to choose the best path for your situation, helping you retain as much control as possible over your future during a divorce.

We invite you to contact the Law Firm of Anthony J. Diaz for further information on your family law needs.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Social Media and Divorce: A Tricky Proposition

By

When you add divorce to your social media, your divorce can quickly become even more complicated. Many social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or X are an important part of our lives sharing life updates, family milestones and daily events. However, an active social media presence during your divorce can lead to unnecessary conflict in an already emotionally charged process.

Social Media Posts Can Add to the Tension

Social Media and Divorce

When emotions are running high, you may be tempted to vent about your experiences online, particularly if you feel wronged or betrayed. These posts, often made in the heat of the moment, can lead to new problems. Sharing details of your divorce publicly can fuel anger and hurt feelings, making an already difficult divorce even more contentious. These posts may invite unwanted commentary from friends or acquaintances, further aggravating the situation.

Social Media Can Create Problems in Court

What you post on social media can have real legal consequences. Anything you post can be used in court. For example, if there are pictures of you partying and drinking online or on a date, these posts can reflect on your ability to make good decisions. Courts also frown upon parents who involve their children in the divorce process, and this extends to posting about them on social media. If you share grievances about a custody dispute, it can reflect poorly on your judgment in the eyes of a judge.

How to Avoid Social Media Pitfalls

What should you do to avoid these pitfalls? The advice is simple but very important: you need to refrain from using social media. It is best if you can give up posting on social media until after the divorce is over. If you can’t give up social media posting, you should at least avoid posting anything about the divorce, whether good news or bad.   Keep details about your children, your spouse, or the divorce process off social platforms entirely. Instead, confide in close friends or family directly, without broadcasting your personal matters online. If you’re focused on maintaining peace, especially in Mediation or Collaborative Divorce Settings, it is key to keep your divorce out of social media.

While social media is a powerful tool for connection, it can easily become a minefield during your divorce. To preserve emotional stability and ensure that the legal process goes smoothly, you should keep your personal matters offline and focus on a private and peaceful resolution.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Modifying Child Support and Custody Orders: What You Need to Know

By

There is an inherent contradiction when making decisions about time sharing and child support.

On the one hand, there needs to be stability—settlements and judgments need to be relied upon, and the parties (the parents) need to know what their rights, duties, and obligations will be going forward.

Child Support

Stability also helps the child; a child who gets used to one schedule should not have to suddenly adapt to a new one or move just because parents change their minds.

This means that judgments or settlements for child support and custody need to be final and determined and should be difficult to ever modify.

But on the other hand, life is uncertain. When you make decisions on time sharing and support when the children are little, you never know what curve balls life will throw at you later on. That means that decisions about time sharing cannot be absolutely permanent, as they need to account for changed circumstances in the parent’s life.

Agreeing to Modifications

Before getting into the details of how time sharing or support are modified, remember that parents can always agree to a modification. If they do both agree, the agreement should be put in writing and then given to an attorney to file with the court so that there is a record of the new agreement or altered terms.

Unforeseen Changes

The law has stuck somewhat of a balance when it comes to modifying time sharing and support.

The first requirement when modifying time sharing of a child, or child support, is showing that there has been a change of circumstances that was unforeseen at the time of the entry of the original settlement agreement or divorce case.

So, for example, imagine that dad works on commission and sometimes makes more and sometimes makes less money at work. The fact that dad has two or three “down years” financially would not justify modifying child support. It was known all along that dad’s income varied, and the parties knew that income could go up or down erratically.

Note that in 2023, the requirement that a changed circumstance be unforeseen or unanticipated was removed from the text of the law. However, in reality, many family law judges will still look at the circumstances and deny parents seeking modification if the modification is based on factors that were known to the parents at the time the original judgment or settlement was entered into.

Substantial and Permanent

Any change in circumstance must also be substantial. This means two things: that the change is not a temporary change, but rather, is permanent, and that the change is actually material—that is, enough of a change to warrant a modification.

For example, if mom needs dad to watch the kids a bit more for two months so she can get job training, that may not be a permanent change—it is expected to conclude in two months, at which time the parties can resume their normal schedule.

There is no hard line time limit for how long changed circumstances need to exist to be considered truly permanent. That is evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

Many parents who fall on hard financial times seek to modify their child support, but unless it is proven that the decreased earnings are permanent, they will not justify a downward modification of support. This can avoid a situation where a parent temporarily under-employs him or herself, to make it look like he or she is earning less money in order to try to pay less child support.

Best Interest of the Child

Any modification must also be in the best interest of the child. The court will look at the same factors that were used to make the initial determination of time sharing.

Stability for the child is of paramount concern for the court, and it will not enter a modification if the court feels that the modification will upset the child’s life or take the child away from his or her friends, hobbies, school, or other elements of the child’s life.

There are times when a court can enter a modification in the absence of any of these factors, but that is usually when there is violence or some event that immediately threatens the child’s physical or emotional well-being.

Noncompliance with an Existing Judgment or Agreement

It is unfortunately common that a parent does not exercise the visitation or time-sharing that he or she is supposed to have. This can lead to the other (complaint) parent wanting to modify time sharing.

But the failure to abide by a time-sharing agreement or judgment, by itself, will not justify a modification. The party that is in compliance would have to bring a motion for contempt or another motion to compel compliance with the agreement or judgment against the other parent.

Relocation as Justification

If a parent was located more than 50 miles away when the original judgment or settlement was entered into, and that parent now moves closer to the child (within 50 miles), that will automatically warrant a changed circumstance, allowing a court to modify a time sharing arrangement, even in the absence of any other evidence.

Likewise, although not specifically written into the statute, most courts will also assume that a parent moving away further than 50 miles from the other parent would constitute a substantial, permanent, and material change in circumstances.

You Need a Court Order

Remember that to change a parenting plan or to change custody obligations, you need a court order. That means that you can’t just stop paying, deny visitation, or alter visitation schedules on your own.

If you feel there is an emergency, you can file an emergency motion to modify. However, outside of that, even if you were to win your petition to modify child support, the court would still force you to pay 100% of what your previous child support obligation was before the modification was entered.

That means that parties seeing a modification should comply with whatever orders or agreements are in place while waiting for the resolution of their modification case.

Need to change the terms of your visitation, custody time sharing, child support agreement, or judgment? Is the other parent threatening to alter your time-sharing or child support agreements or judgments?

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

If you find this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.