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Collaborative Divorce

How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

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Telling your spouse, you want a divorce is one of the hardest conversations you may ever have. The approach you take will shape how the process unfolds—especially if you hope to pursue a peaceful resolution like Collaborative Divorce. Here are some suggestions on how to make the conversation easier.

Start with Compassion, Not Solutions

Telling your spouse you want a divorce

If this is the first time you are telling your spouse you want a divorce, resist the urge to talk about logistics or legal options right away. Instead, focus on why you feel the marriage is no longer working. This conversation may be deeply emotional, especially if your spouse isn’t expecting it. Put yourself in their shoes and anticipate a strong reaction, confusion, anger, sadness, or even denial. Be compassionate, listen, and give them space to begin processing what you’ve shared.

Build on Prior Conversations If You Can

In some cases, couples may have already talked about separation or agreed to “give it some time.” If that is your situation, you can ease into the conversation by referencing those earlier discussions. This may make it less jarring and help open the door to more constructive dialogue. If your spouse is not surprised and seems to agree that divorce may be the right next step this could be an appropriate time to begin exploring how to move forward respectfully.

When (and How) to Introduce Collaborative Options

If your spouse agrees that divorce is the right step, you can gently introduce the idea of Collaborative Divorce or Divorce Mediation. Emphasize that while divorce is difficult, it doesn’t have to be combative. Use language like: “This doesn’t have to be ugly. I want to go through this in a way that’s respectful to both of us. There are options like Mediation and Collaborative Divorce that can help us do that.”

However, if emotions are still raw, it is best to wait before diving into the “how.” Allow your spouse time to digest the decision first.

Offer Resources and Support

Once your spouse is ready, share helpful resources. This might include a brochure on Collaborative Divorce, a link to the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP),  the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals or even an invitation to meet with a collaboratively trained mental health professional—ideally together. These professionals are often better at explaining the benefits of Collaborative Divorce, particularly if you have children. 

Be Patient

Perhaps the most important piece of advice is to be patient. Your spouse may need more time to accept the situation. Rushing them into a process they are not emotionally ready for can backfire. Many people who take the time to let their spouse adjust have found that it led to a more cooperative and divorce process.

Having your divorce conversation is incredibly hard, but handling that conversation with empathy, timing, and thoughtfulness will set the tone for a healthier path forward.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. He is a member of the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the Central Florida Collaborative Law Practice Group. He was recently chosen to serve on the board of directors for the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), a global non-profit of legal, mental health, and financial professionals working to resolve conflicts outside the courtroom.

Mr. Diaz is dedicated to his work helping clients with complex family law issues by using collaborative practices to reach peaceful agreements.

His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave. #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3270 Suntree Blvd. Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

How Is a Gray Divorce Different?

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In recent years, “gray divorce” has become a term of growing relevance, referring to the increasing number of divorces of people aged 50 and over. While divorce at any age has emotional and financial challenges, gray divorce presents unique circumstances that make it different from divorces that occur earlier in life. Let’s look at those differences:

The Later Stage of Life

Gray Divorce

One of the most notable differences is the age and stage of life of those involved. Gray divorces often involve couples who have been married for 20, 30, or even more years. The children are typically grown and out of the house, so there are no custody battles, but this does not mean the process is any less complicated—especially when adult children begin to take sides, unintentionally creating rifts that ripple through generations.

Financial Complexity

Another defining factor is financial complexity. By the time a couple reaches their 50s or 60s, they have usually accumulated significant assets—retirement accounts, pensions, real estate, and investments. Splitting these assets can be a daunting task, especially if you are both nearing or already in retirement. Living separately on a fixed income can also have an impact on each person’s standard of living.

Healthcare Concerns

Healthcare concerns often play a larger role in gray divorce. In some cases, couples have remained legally married just to share health insurance benefits. The loss of that safety net can be life-altering, especially if one party has ongoing medical needs.

Emotional Dynamics

Emotional dynamics in a gray divorce also differ. There is often a deep sense of grief tied not just to the relationship ending, but to the loss of a shared history and dreams built over decades. The older population is often more in need of emotional and logistical support yet divorce at this stage can leave you more isolated—without the partner you’ve leaned on for years and without daily interaction with your adult children.

Moreover, there is often a strong desire for privacy and peace. Many people going through a gray divorce prefer to avoid the courtroom drama that can accompany traditional divorce litigation. Instead, Mediation or Collaborative Divorce options are becoming more popular, offering a more respectful, confidential, and less adversarial path forward. These alternatives not only reduce stress but also help preserve important family relationships, especially with children and grandchildren.

Ultimately, while all divorces carry emotional and practical challenges, gray divorce comes with a unique set of concerns shaped by age, assets, health, and long-standing family dynamics. As people live longer and choose not to settle for unfulfilling relationships, the rise in gray divorce reflects a shift in priorities—seeking personal happiness and dignity at every stage of life.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave. # 124, Winter Park, FL 32792, and 3270 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G,  Melbourne, FL 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

How Collaborative Divorce Protects Families and Assets During Separation

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There is an interesting contradiction when it comes to divorce, especially if you are the one thinking of filing the divorce. On the one hand, you may want out, and you know that you are making this decision for the best. You look forward to a day when you can start over, and build a new life, with your children.

But on the other hand, nobody wants to actually file for divorce. The cost, heartache, arguing, and stress, all can keep people who know that divorce is the right option, from actually filing for divorce.

How Collaborative Divorce Helps

Separation

Enter collaborative divorce, a way to protect your family, preserve assets, and help you fast forward to that new beginning you were thinking about.

Collaborative divorce is a legal, actual divorce like any other. What is different, however, is that while the parties may personally harbor difficult feelings or even hostility toward each other, those feelings don’t draw out the divorce or make it “messy” or contentious.

That’s because as the name implies, collaborative divorce is about collaborating—both parties working together, to iron out the differences in the divorce case, outside of court. If and when all the issues are resolved, then the case is brought before a judge, to finalize the divorce.

Getting an Attorney

Like any other divorce, you will have and retain your own attorney, as will your spouse. But while your attorneys are there to represent you and fight for your rights in the divorce, they are also there to work with the other spouse and try to get them to the bargaining table to work on the issues in the divorce.

How do you know that the attorneys will not just throw the whole collaborative thing out, and revert to cutthroat, contentious divorce tactics? It is because only attorneys trained in collaborative divorce can handle these kinds of cases, and the attorneys are not only trained to advocate for the clients, but also, to ascertain the motives, needs, and desires of both sides, to fashion a workable solution to the problems in the divorce.

Creative Solutions

One major way that collaborative divorce can protect your assets is that, like bargaining for anything, you can engage in a give-and-take and work out creative solutions to the issues in the divorce.

The problem with going to court is that a family law judge’s hands are tied. He or she can only award to either spouse what the laws say that the judge can award. The judge cannot “think outside the box,” or come up with ideas that may work for the parties. But in a collaborative divorce, so long as both sides agree, you can work out whatever solution you want.

Let’s imagine that you have a business, and your (soon to be ex) wife owns stock in your business. You no longer want her to own those stocks, but you don’t have the money to buy them back. You could negotiate to pay more alimony, or to give her an extra asset, or to make payments to her over time, in return for the stock.

Let’s say that the kids really enjoy their music lessons, and you want to ensure they keep taking them. Your ex doesn’t agree. You could agree to give your ex something—more time with the kids every now and then, or a slight reduction in support—in return for your spouse’s agreement to pay for the music lessons.

These are just simple examples of how you and your spouse can devise creative solutions to real-world problems in a collaborative divorce.

These would be hard problems to work out in a normal, contested, divorce case, because the judge doesn’t have the legal ability to work these kinds of solutions out—not to mention, in the course of a hotly contested divorce cases, neither party is often in the frame of mind to hammer out creative solutions that work for both parties.

Using Experts to Make Good Decisions

Wouldn’t it be great if you had financial professionals and mental health counselors and investment professionals, all there to advise you as to the decisions you are making in your divorce? In collaborative divorce, you can have that. And because your expert is not fighting with the other side’s expert, as they would be doing in a contested divorce case, there is less expense, and more certainly, as the experts are working for both of you, advising you as to the consequences of the decisions you are making in your divorce.

A Lasting Peace

Another benefit, which can have an even longer lasting effect, is the fact that because of the nature of a collaborative divorce, when it is over and the issues are agreed upon and the divorce entered, the parties have not spent months (or more) at each other’s throats.

That means that there is no long-lasting contentiousness, hostility, or anger that there often is at the conclusion of a full-blown contested divorce that ends in a divorce trial.

This can have an enormous benefit on you, mentally, but also in your and your spouse’s ability to co-parent the children, post-divorce.

Your Time Frame

Although you can work at your own pace in a collaborative divorce, the good thing is that you can take matters as fast or as slow as you want. Is there a difficult issue that it may take time to resolve? No problem—the parties can spend as much time as they need, working with the other side, to work that issue out.

Want to get it done as quickly as you can? You can do that as well—because you are not arguing and not in court, there is no waiting on a judge’s calendar to open up so your lawyer can get a hearing in court.

All of this ensures that the assets and property in your divorce case, are divided fairly, that your voice and position are being heard, and that the kids’ needs will be met, post-divorce.

Certainly, there are times and situations where things cannot resolve amicably. But if there is even a glimmer of a chance of collaboration and teamwork between you and your spouse, collaborative divorce may be the way to get that divorce finalized in a way that works for both of you—and which protects your children, and your assets.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Florida Attorney Anthony Diaz Featured On The Respectful Divorce Podcast

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Florida Collaborative Divorce Attorney Anthony Diaz was recently a guest on The Respectful Divorce podcast discussing the no-court Collaborative Divorce process and the Divorce With Respect Week® initiative. The Respectful Divorce Podcast is hosted by Tim Crouch and highlights divorce professionals discussing the different options people have for divorce.

“I went through my own divorce a number of years ago,” said Diaz. “Even though I was an attorney and did family law, I imagined how difficult it must be for people who don’t know the law going through such an emotional experience. It’s become a passion and a calling of mine to be able to help people move through the process more easily and to have a peaceful outcome.”

Divorce With Respect Week® is March 3-9, 2025, and is a nationwide effort to educate divorcing couples about peaceful options for divorce like the Collaborative Divorce process.

“Being an out of court process Collaborative Divorce is different from a traditional litigation case which goes to court and ultimately the judge makes the decisions,” said Diaz. “The collaborative  process is out of court in which both spouses agree to resolve their case without battling in court.”

Anthony Diaz was born in Miami, Florida and was an Assistant State Attorney for the Ninth Judicial Circuit of Florida before opening his private practice. Diaz earned his degree at Stetson University College of Law. Learn more about Diaz and the family law services he offers at https://anthonydiazlaw.com/.

To listen to this episode of The Respectful Divorce Podcast, go to https://soundcloud.com/user-213395964/anthony-diaz-divorce-with-respect-week-2025. 
During Divorce With Respect Week® Collaborative Divorce professionals in Florida and across the nation are offering free 30 minute consultations.

Anyone interested in speaking with a divorce attorney, divorce financial professional, divorce coach or mental health professional should go to www.divorcewithrespectweek.com to find a professional near them.

His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave. #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3270 Suntree Blvd. Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32920.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorcing with Dignity and Respect

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Divorce is often a painful, bitter process, and for good reason. It involves immense emotional turmoil, significant life changes, and, at times, contentious disagreements. However, your divorce does not have to be a battle filled with hostility and resentment. Instead, it can be approached with dignity and respect, transforming a difficult transition into an opportunity for growth and healing. But what does it truly mean to divorce with dignity and respect? While dignity and respect may seem at odds with the concept of divorce, they are essential for a smoother, healthier process—especially when you have  children.

Changing the Mindset Around Divorce

Divorcing with Dignity and Respect

One of the biggest challenges to divorcing with dignity and respect is shifting one’s mindset. Divorce is often perceived as a failure, but it is sometimes a necessary step toward personal happiness and fulfillment. When you and your spouse can view divorce not as a defeat but as a pathway to a better future, it becomes easier to handle the process with grace.

A key element of dignity in divorce is treating each other with respect, even when your emotions run high. This can be difficult, particularly if you or your spouse desires divorce while the other does not. However, acknowledging the emotional toll on both sides and practicing empathy can make the transition less contentious. A simple rule to follow is: If you were advising a friend going through divorce, how would you suggest they handle themselves? Most likely, you would encourage them to be compassionate and considerate.

The Impact on Children

If you have children maintaining dignity and respect during a divorce is even more important. Children are highly perceptive, and how you as parents handle your divorce will shape how they handle conflict and change in their own lives. An important question is how your children will look back on this period 20 years from now. Will they be proud of how their parents handled themselves, or will they carry emotional wounds from witnessing unnecessary conflict?

Parents must remember that children should never feel pressured to take sides. When one of you speaks negatively about the other, your children may feel torn between loyalty and guilt. By modeling respectful behavior, you can both teach your children valuable lessons about handling adversity with maturity and grace.

The Effect on the Divorce Process

How you and your spouse interact during a divorce will significantly impact the process itself. When as a couple you approach your divorce with respect, you are more likely to engage in productive negotiations and reach amicable agreements.

However, when emotions take over, interactions can quickly become hostile. This shift can derail progress and lead to prolonged disputes. A helpful strategy is to remain self-aware and recognize when tensions escalate. Taking a step back and refocusing on respectful communication can help keep your process moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Divorcing with dignity and respect is not easy, but it is possible. By shifting perspectives, prioritizing empathy, and modeling good behavior for children, both you and your spouse can work through this difficult time with integrity. Ultimately, treating each other with respect benefits not only the two of you, but also your family. A dignified divorce lays the foundation for healthier post-divorce relationships, making co-parenting and future interactions more positive. Though emotions may run high, choosing dignity and respect will lead to a more peaceful and constructive resolution for everyone involved.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Collaborative Divorce: Resolving Marital Disputes Without the Courtroom Drama

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When we think of divorce cases, we tend to see them as black and white. On the one hand, you can go to court, litigate, and engage in a long, bitter divorce fight. On the other hand, you can just agree on everything and have a simple, uncontested divorce.

What About Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborating Together

But the reality is that there is actually a third category for resolving divorce cases: collaborative divorce.

Think of collaborative divorce as a hybrid between extended bitter in-court fighting and simply agreeing on everything from the outset.

On the one hand, there may be real disagreements between the parties, and they may not even necessarily get along. But they may also want to avoid the drawbacks of long, draining, and expensive in-court litigation. That’s where collaborative divorce comes in.

Much like alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation, collaborative divorce happens outside of a court. In fact, collaborative divorce requires that no divorce cases have actually been filed. If a divorce case is pending and the parties want to try a collaborative divorce, they must agree to stay or pause the case during the collaborative process.

Collaboration also requires that the parties agree that they will not file any divorce case while the issues in the case are trying to be resolved collaboratively.

Getting Representation for Collaborative Divorce

Both parties can be represented by an attorney, just as they would in court. The attorney you select cannot just be a family law attorney but must be specifically trained in collaborative divorce. Be aware that if an attorney represents you for the collaborative divorce, and the issues are not resolved, that attorney cannot then later represent you in any future divorce case that may be filed. You would have to find and retain a new attorney.

Your attorney is your attorney and is acting on your behalf during the collaborative process. But unlike contested divorce litigation, the goal for the attorneys on both sides isn’t to “win the case,” but rather to work together to find an amicable and agreeable solution that works for all sides. At meetings, each side’s attorney may even speak to the other spouse to get an idea of what he or she wants in the divorce and why.

Just as in mediation, the attorneys for both sides will try to agree on a neutral—a middle person who will help both parties work through the issues and negotiate.

Trying to Get to an Agreement

Both parties must sign an agreement indicating their agreement to participate. The agreement also obligates both parties to honesty, full disclosure of information, and keeping the matters in the collaboration confidential. Confidentiality can be a major benefit—the details of your divorce, while normally public as a publicly filed case in court, are now largely shielded from the public eye.

The parties will then meet to work out the issues. Often, this takes many meetings, but the good thing is that unlike court hearings, which often happen when the judge or your attorney can schedule them, collaborative divorce sessions can often be scheduled around your work or life schedule, adding to the convenience of collaborative divorces.

Other professionals may need to get involved if necessary. For example, if there are tax, immigration, or estate planning issues, complex financial assets, or even mental health professionals who may be needed, these outside experts can be hired to help.

If successful, the collaborative divorce results in the signing of a marital settlement agreement, a parenting plan if there are children, and whatever other documents are needed to facilitate the agreement reached between the parties. After that, one of the attorneys will notify the court that the parties have resolved all issues, and the court will enter the final dissolution of the marriage.

Cost and Time

In most cases, the entire process lasts for less than a year, although that may be much shorter if there are fewer issues involved. You can move as quickly or as slowly as you want, and you are not being rushed to any deposition hearings or trials the way you would in divorce litigation.

Almost every study of collaborative divorces has found that the average cost to the parties is significantly less than that of full-blown contested litigation.

Why the Process Works

Collaborative divorce works because it balances two prevailing interests that almost all divorcing spouses have.

On the one hand, divorcing spouses have real conflicts—even if they aren’t hostile or angry, there are almost always disputes about alimony, time-sharing, or division of property. Parties cannot afford to just “give in” to the other spouse just to avoid litigation.

On the other hand, family law litigation can be expensive and time-consuming. It also puts the decision-making power into the hands of a judge, taking it out of the hands of the parties. Parties would like to work things out easily and stress-free.

In many cases, parties to a divorce may want things that a divorce judge simply is not allowed to grant. For example, a spouse may want the other spouse to sign a confidentiality agreement, modify a will or a trust, allow grandparents rights with a child, or agree to terminate alimony at the occurrence of a given event.

Family court judges cannot grant these kinds of things, legally. But you and your spouse can, if you agree, and collaborative divorce gives you the chance to negotiate other things in your divorce that you couldn’t otherwise get with a judge making the decisions in your case.

Because collaborative divorce has elements of cooperation, honesty, and mutual benefit, the relationship between the divorcing parties may also be much better post-divorce than it otherwise might be.

Collaborative divorce works best when the parties are able to communicate and where there is no history of violence or abuse. It helps if the parties have a “give and take” mentality, whereby they are willing to bend a little to get a little in return for the issues in the divorce.

Is collaborative divorce right for you? Come learn more about it.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.