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Divorce and Children

Positive Co-Parenting During and After the Divorce

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Divorce is a stressful time that can be intensified when children are involved. Yet, in the chaos and emotional trials, there is an opportunity for you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse to embrace positive co-parenting practices that prioritize the well-being of your children. While it is natural for divorcing couples to harbor resentment and disagreements, fostering a collaborative approach to parenting can mitigate the negative impacts on children and even lay the groundwork for healthier relationships post-divorce.

One of the fundamental challenges of co-parenting post-divorce can be different parenting styles between households. What is important is for you and your co-parent to set aside personal differences and establish a common ground for how you will co-parent your children as they grow up.

Positive Co-Parenting

The process of divorce itself can play a pivotal role in shaping the dynamics of your co-parenting relationship. Litigated divorces, marked by conflict and adversarial proceedings, exacerbate tensions between parents, making cooperation challenging. In contrast, choosing Collaborative Divorce provides a platform for constructive dialogue and mutual decision-making. Collaborative Divorce empowers you to craft personalized parenting plans that reflect your children’s best interests and creates a sense of ownership and cooperation.

Central to successful co-parenting is effective communication that is focused solely on your children’s needs. By re-framing discussions away from personal grievances and towards the well-being of your children, you can work through challenges with empathy and understanding. Non-adversarial environments fostered by either Mediation or Collaborative Divorce offer you  the opportunity to model conflict resolution and demonstrate a united front in parenting, despite the dissolution of your romantic relationship.

An apt analogy for co-parenting post-divorce is likening it to a business partnership, with the business of raising your children. A well-crafted parenting plan provides a framework for collaboration and sets clear expectations for everyone.

Ultimately, positive co-parenting during and after divorce will lay the foundation for your children’s emotional resilience and future relationships. By witnessing their parents working together with grace and cooperation, your children will learn valuable conflict resolution skills and the importance of prioritizing familial bonds. Investing in collaborative co-parenting not only benefits your children in the immediate aftermath of divorce but equips them with essential life skills for the future.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Navigating Child Custody: A Comprehensive Guide for Parents

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To understand the complexities of child custody, and what courts look at when considering custody, it is important first to know what child custody actually is. While we often use “custody” to mean everything, in reality, it has a specific meaning.

What is Custody?

Navigating Child Custody

Custody over a child generally means the ability to parent the child, and to have a meaningful parental say in the decision-making process over the important things in the child’s life. That includes making medical decisions, decisions about school, healthcare decisions, and even the day today decisions that a parent makes about how a child will be raised.

In almost every divorce (or paternity) case, parents will share custody. It is very rare for a court to take away these crucial parental rights from either parent, although it can happen in very extreme cases. But in most cases, it is not custody that parents are fighting over—it is time-sharing.

Understanding Time-sharing

Time-sharing is the actual time that each parent will have with the kids—more specifically, how many nights per week or per month the child will spend overnight with either parent. Because time-sharing is different from custody, a parent may have less time-sharing (meaning, fewer overnights with the kids), but an equal right to raise, and make decisions for, the children.

There are 20 different factors that a court can consider, when making decisions over time-sharing. Note that today, courts tend to favor giving equal nights to both parents through a 50-50 schedule (there are many different 50-50 schedules that parents can opt to use, many of which are worked out in mediation sessions between the parents).

But based on the decision of certain statutory factors, courts can and do deviate from that 50-50 schedule, providing more time-sharing to one parent over the other.

Cooperation And Civility Between Parents

The ability to abide by a time-sharing schedule, and the ability to be flexible to necessary changes, is a big factor; the parent more likely to do this, would have an advantage.

In short: courts do not favor parents who demean the other parent, are hostile to the other parent, or who cannot humanely and peacefully co-parent with the other parent.

This includes parents who talk negatively about the other parent to the child or who involve the child in the legal matters surrounding the parents. Courts will favor the parent who keeps the children out of parental disputes and the parent who is civil to the other.

Stability for the Child

Courts will also look to which parent provides the most stability for the child. That may not be based on you, as a parent, but it could be based on your situation. For example, if mom lives closer to the child’s friends, or her location allows the child to keep going to the child’s school, mom would have an advantage. Parents who live closer to the child’s grandparents and other relatives to the child, may have an advantage.

Similar to this will be how the child is doing in their current environment. If the child is doing well, courts will be hesitant to upset the child’s life.

Stability also means which parent has established (or is capable of establishing) structure for the child’s life. Which parent can enforce homework times, discipline routines, or bedtimes? It is great to be the “fun parent,” but courts do look to which parent can provide discipline in structure in the child’s life as well.

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

The Court also will want to know how much each parent has knowledge about the child’s life.

That may seem obvious, but courts will look to which parent knows who the child’s friends are. Who the child’s favorite teacher is. What the child’s favorite sport is. What health conditions the child has.

All of these things—even things that are seemingly trivial—make a difference and the parent who knows these things about the child has an advantage in a time-sharing or custody dispute.

It’s not just knowledge either. The law allows a judge to look at which parent has actually been involved in the child’s life. Which parent has a history of going more often to the child’s sporting events, extracurricular activities, or parent-teacher meetings?

Morals and Ethics of the Parents

Moral behavior is also a factor. That is not to say that the Court is judging you as a person, and mudslinging against the other parent can do you more harm than good in a time-sharing or custody dispute. But yes, the Court will judge your morals, but only to the extent that they impact the child.

So, for example, the Court may not penalize you for using drugs, or for committing adultery. But if the court feels that these habits or lack of morals may affect the child, or that the child may be exposed to them, or that they impact the child’s environment when the child is with you, then these things could have a significant impact on a time-sharing decision.

Your Health

Courts will also look at the mental and physical health of the parents. That is not to say that you cannot have some limitations, and a diagnosis does not mean you are not qualified to raise your kids. Almost everybody has some mental or physical medical history. Courts are more interested in whether any physical or mental limitation, could affect your ability to raise or care for the child.

Domestic Violence

The statute does allow the court to look into “prior actions” related to domestic violence or child abuse. Note that the statute doesn’t say “convictions,” which means that allegations, restraining orders, or other information about abuse, to either parent or child, can be considered by a court.

What About What the Child Wants?

In some cases, the child can be asked how he or she feels, but that is rare, and only in cases where the child is old enough or mature enough to make his or her own decisions. A child will never be asked “who do you want to live with,” but the child’s opinions about which parent does what, can be considered.

If the child is not old enough, then a guardian ad litem can be appointed to spend time with, and evaluate the child, as well as both parents’ home environments, to make a recommendation and speak on behalf of the child.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

How Emotions Can Make Divorce More Expensive

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During the turmoil of separating and divorcing your spouse, emotions can run high, often clouding judgment and leading to reactionary decisions. These emotional reactions can come at a significant financial cost, particularly in a litigated divorce.

When you allow your emotions to takeover, you may find yourself embroiled in costly legal battles. Take, for instance, when a heated argument escalates to the point of involving law enforcement. Suddenly, what could have been a straightforward divorce process morphs into a costly legal affair, with domestic violence charges or injunctions adding a hefty price tag to the proceedings. The financial toll of such emotional outbursts can be substantial, highlighting the critical need to keep emotions in check.

Collaborative Divorce Calms Emotions

collaborative divorce

The Collaborative Divorce process is designed to mitigate the financial and emotional toll of traditional litigation. In a Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse work together, with your respective attorneys and a team of neutral professionals to reach a mutually beneficial agreement outside the courtroom. This approach not only fosters open communication but also helps you and your spouse to manage your emotions, leading to more amicable and cost-effective outcomes.

The Collaborative Divorce process is uniquely equipped to handle the emotional complexities inherent in divorce. By incorporating mental health professionals into the team, Collaborative Divorce offers a holistic approach to managing emotions. These professionals act as facilitators, adept at identifying and addressing emotional roadblocks that may impede progress. Through breakout sessions and expert guidance, they help you to handle your emotions constructively, paving the way for productive discussions and informed decision-making.

Collaborative Divorce also provides a framework for addressing emotional challenges in real-time, preventing conflicts from spiraling out of control. By proactively addressing emotional concerns, Collaborative Divorce empowers you to make sound decisions, ultimately reducing the financial burden associated with prolonged legal battles.

In essence, emotions wield significant influence over the financial cost of divorce. Collaborative Divorce offers a pathway to mitigate these costs by fostering cooperation, managing emotions, and prioritizing peaceful resolutions. By embracing a collaborative approach, divorcing spouses can not only safeguard their financial well-being but also emerge from the process with dignity intact, ready to embark on a new chapter of their lives.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Debunking Five Myths About Property Division

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One of the first things that people say when they are going into a divorce is, “I’m going to lose everything,” or, “They will get half of everything I own.”

Myths in divorce

While the division of property is an essential part of a divorce, in Florida, it is not that simple—in fact, a lot of things people believe to be true are not actually true when it comes to the division of property in a divorce. Here are some common myths or misbeliefs about equitable distribution in Florida.

1. If you buy something during the marriage but it is only titled or held in your name, it cannot be divided in your divorce.

This is a myth. Divorce court does not just look at whose name is officially on any title, or which spouse bought an item, or how a bank account is titled. A divorce court cares more about equity—doing what is fair.

Any property can be marital property and, thus, subject to division if it is treated that way.

For example, imagine a wife gets an inheritance from her mother and keeps it in an account in her name. During the marriage, the couple uses that inheritance money to add a room to the marital home, help start the husband’s business, and pay off marital debt.

The wife’s inheritance money has now become marital, subject to division, even though it isn’t titled in the husband’s name or in any bank account with his name on it.

If you want to keep any property (including an inheritance) truly non-marital, it needs to be properly segregated into a separate account and not used for joint marital functions or purposes.

2.  Only assets purchased or acquired while the parties are married can be divided

This is false for the same reason given above. The court does not just look at when the property was acquired (although it is a factor that can be considered by a court when deciding how much of a given asset either party gets).

The fact that property was acquired before marriage may mean that there is a presumption that it is not marital property. But that presumption can easily be lost when the property is commingled with marital assets or used for the benefit of the marriage.

For example, imagine a husband has a business, long before he is married. He gets married, and money from the business helps pay marital bills, and the wife contributes her time to help the business grow, the business pays for the family car, and the couple gives up opportunities, so that the couple can put more money into growing the business.

That business, although formed before the marriage, has now been sufficiently intermixed with the marriage, such that it can now be seen as marital property, subject to division.

Even just part of non-marital property, acquired before marriage, can become marital. For example, an investment that a spouse had before marriage may be nonmarital—but the increase in value of the investment that occurred during the time the parties were married could be considered marital and subject to division.

3.  Everything will be shared or divided evenly

All property in a Florida divorce will be divided fairly (that is, equitably). But that doesn’t mean equal. What is fair may be unequal. The divorce court does not just take every piece of property and divide it in half.

A court will look to both the needs of the parties going forward, as well as their contributions to the asset that helped it exist or appreciate in value. The court will look to which spouse’s labor and working hours, helped the asset appreciate in value.

Property can even be used to balance out other issues in a divorce. So, for example, if the wife needs a significant amount of alimony or other support, and the husband cannot financially provide it, the husband may give up some of his interest in an asset to make up for the inability to pay alimony. Or, if the wife may take on the obligation to pay a lot of marital debt, while the husband may give up more property than he otherwise would have, to compensate the wife for taking on that debt burden.

4.  A gift from one spouse to another cannot be divided

This is generally not true. In some circumstances, it may be. Again, the question is whether the gift truly is for the benefit of only the receiving spouse.

If the husband gets the wife diamond earrings for her birthday, then yes, those earrings could likely be considered a gift for just the wife, and thus, not marital.

But imagine a wife gives her husband a car for his birthday, and the car is used for both spouses to go to work, pick up kids, run errands, etc. Although a gift from wife to husband, the asset is really benefiting both parties, and the marriage in general, and thus, could be subject to division.

5.  You are not liable for debts that your spouse agrees to pay

Let’s not forget that in a divorce, it is not just assets that are divided—debts and liabilities get divided as well. Sometimes, getting the other spouse to be obligated for a debt is as valuable as getting an asset in the marriage.

The problem with saying in, say, a settlement agreement or divorce judgment, “The wife will pay the credit card bill,” is that the creditor doesn’t care what your divorce agreement or mediation agreement or court judgment says. As far as the creditor is concerned, that credit card bill was and still is in both of your names and thus, the creditor can sue either one of you (or both) for that debt.

That means that if you have a debt in your name, and your spouse agrees to pay it in the marital settlement agreement or after mediation, and he doesn’t pay it, the creditor can still come after you—or worse, when it comes to things like mortgages, the creditor can foreclose on the property.

You can certainly take your (now ex) spouse to court to try to get him to pay or to enforce your agreement. But in the meantime, if a creditor comes after you, saying, “my ex was supposed to pay that as part of our divorce agreement,” it will not stop, or serve as a defense, to the creditor’s collection activities.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce: No-Fault vs. Fault Based

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When couples get divorced, one of the things that they often do is start putting blame on each other. While pointing the finger and ascribing fault to people in a divorce can have some applicability in certain areas of a divorce, it has really no applicability in one area of divorce – whether the couple should be able to get a divorce in the first place.

No-Fault Divorce in Florida

Divorce

That is because Florida is what is known as a no-fault divorce case. Putting aside all of the other issues that arise in a divorce, neither party has to show that anybody did anything wrong, nor does either party have to show that they “deserve” a divorce.

All that needs to be shown in order to get a divorce is to show that the marriage is irretrievably broken or, as is often used, that the couple has “irreconcilable differences.” This is a relatively easy standard to meet and is difficult for either party to contest. It does not require that any party did anything “wrong,” like adultery or taking marital money. It does not require any showing that one party “caused” the divorce.

The end result is that while the divorce may take time as the parties litigate the issues in the divorce, like custody or alimony or property division, the parties do not have to prove that they have a right to be divorced in the first place, nor can a party convince a court not to enter a divorce, just because a spouse doesn’t want to be divorced.

This is why, in cases where all of the issues are agreed to by the spouses, the divorce can be entered relatively quickly. With nothing like child support or alimony to fight over, where the only issue is just the divorce itself, there is little to argue or fight about, and the divorce can be entered quickly by the court.

Other States’ Requirements

Some states that have no-fault divorces do have a waiting period or a cool-off period that parties need to wait out in order to get a divorce finalized, even if all the other legal issues have been resolved between the parties. Some states have requirements that spouses must live separately for a period of time before the divorce to show the marriage is irretrievably broken.

But Florida has no such mandatory waiting period or requirements.

When One Spouse Wants to Stay Married

There are occasions where a spouse really does not believe that the marriage is broken or where a spouse believes the marriage can be saved. On the one hand, that is admirable, and courts certainly favor keeping marriages intact. But legally, a court cannot force someone to stay married to someone they no longer want to be married to.

What will generally happen is that the court will order the parties to mediation or at least suggest counseling—but the court cannot legally deny a divorce just because one spouse believes the marriage can be saved.

Often, a spouse who does not want a divorce will not answer divorce paperwork that is served on them or file responsive documents to the divorce petition. That is a bad idea, the court can enter a default against a spouse who does not respond, and the spouse can lose valuable rights to property or the ability to get or receive alimony.

Issues Within the Divorce

What does get confusing is that some issues that relate to fault and thus have no relevance to the divorce itself (i.e., whether the parties have a right to get divorced) may have relevance (and thus cause fighting) in issues surrounding or within the divorce. In other words, the fact that it is easy to ask the court to get divorced does not mean the issues within the divorce are easily resolved.

For example, a spouse may argue that the other spouse has or had a bad drug problem and that the drug problem caused the problems in the marriage. That does not matter for the purpose of getting the divorce-the divorce will, eventually, be granted, drug problem or not, regardless of whether it caused the parties to divorce. But it may matter when it comes to issues like time-sharing with kids or division of property.

The same goes for adultery. The fact that a spouse cheated does not matter in terms of whether the parties have a legal right to get divorced. It may matter in terms of alimony (adultery is a factor that courts can consider when making alimony awards).

Misconduct that affects finances and property may be an issue. So, for example, if a cheating spouse spent a lot of marital money on his or her affairs, that does not mean they are “at fault” for the divorce itself, but it could affect that spouse’s right to receive property in the divorce.

Courts Do Not Ask About Fault

Outside of these specific issues that are resolved as part of and within a divorce, courts will almost never ask why the couples are getting divorced or whose fault the breaking of the marriage is. Practically, those reasons often come out while dealing with other issues (child support, property division, or alimony), but the court does no inquiry to see who caused the marriage to fail.

Additionally, there are no presumptions based on fault. So, for example, the fact that a husband may have been a “bad husband,” causing the marriage to fail, will not make it any more or less likely that he will get time-sharing with the kids or that he will have to pay or not pay or receive alimony.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

How Can I Keep My Divorce Private in Florida?

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Divorce private in florida

Your divorce can become very public very quickly unless you decide that maintaining your privacy is a top priority. In Florida, public records often exposed in personal matters, so finding ways to keep a divorce confidential can be a complex task. However, there is hope for protecting your privacy when you choose to use the Collaborative Divorce process.  Collaborative Divorce offers a path where your personal details can remain shielded from the public eye.

 In most cases, divorce records, including financial affidavits and marital settlement agreements, become part of the public domain. This lack of privacy extends to various divorce scenarios, such as mediation’s, uncontested cases, or litigated cases, where sensitive information is laid bare for anyone to access.

However, the noteworthy exception found in Florida is the Collaborative Divorce process. Collaborative Divorce involves resolving issues amicably with the help of a collaborative team that includes attorneys, financial experts, and mental health professionals. What sets this process apart is the ability to bypass the filing of financial affidavits and detailed settlement agreements. Instead, the final judgment in a collaborative case remains basic, keeping private information out of the public records.

Collaborative Divorce introduces a layer of confidentiality by allowing you to file a notice indicating that your case is proceeding through the collaborative process. By doing so, the court is aware that the divorce will be handled a collaboratively leading to a more streamlined and confidential resolution. When cases are successfully resolved through collaboration, the court welcomes the omission of certain documents from public records, acknowledging the commitment to confidentiality.

In addition to streamlining court proceedings, the collaborative process offers private meetings exclusively with you, your spouse, and the collaborative team. These meetings remain confidential, shielded from public scrutiny, as outlined in the participation agreement signed by both of you. This agreement extends beyond physical meetings, covering all correspondence related to the divorce, ensuring that discussions and decisions stay within the confines of the collaborative process.

In essence, the Collaborative Divorce emerges as the optimal choice for those seeking to safeguard their privacy during a divorce in Florida. Simply put, “What happens in a Collaborative Divorce stays in a Collaborative Divorce.” By choosing collaboration, you  can navigate the divorce journey with the assurance that your personal affairs remain shielded from public exposure, providing a true sense of privacy during an otherwise challenging time.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.