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Divorce and Children

Divorce with Adult Children: Unseen Challenges

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Gray divorce can have some unexpected and unique challenges especially when there are adult children. While society often focuses on the impact of divorce on minor children, the influence of adult children in the divorce process is a topic that deserves attention. The influence of adult children in a couple’s divorce can have a positive and negative impact on the divorce process. Let’s look at how adult children can impact the divorce of their parents.

Positive Influences

Adult Children and Divorce

In some cases, adult children can provide important support to their parents, especially if the spouses are older. The aging process may bring about additional challenges, such as decisions related to living arrangements and retirement. In these situations, adult children play a valuable role in helping their parents to navigate these complex choices.

Negative Influences

Sadly, adult children’s involvement is not always constructive. One challenge that arises is when a child takes sides, advocating for one parent over the other. This can stem from various motives, such as concern about inheritance or aligning with the parent who shares the child’s perspective. Such dynamics can inject unnecessary tension and complexity into the divorce process.

An Important Rule: Avoid Taking Sides

Adult children may feel compelled to choose sides. However, they should maintain communication with both parents, assuring them that they are supportive without taking sides. This approach not only preserves the relationship between parents and children, but also prevents unnecessary rifts within the family.

Confidentiality and Communication

A significant risk is turning adult children into confidants, potentially burdening them with the emotional weight of the divorce. Divorcing couples should consult with their attorney for legal questions instead of turning to their children. Communication with adult children is encouraged, but it should focus on logistical aspects such as living arrangements, grandparent visitation, and other practical considerations.

Preserving Family Relationships

A divorcing couple and their adult children should recognize that divorce doesn’t only impact the spouses but extends to the children and to their future relationships. Divorce at an older age can create a generational defining point, influencing the relationships between children and grandchildren. Proper handling of the divorce process is crucial for preserving family ties and ensuring that the impact on future generations is minimized.

Legal Considerations

It is important that the legal professionals representing the divorcing couple be aware of the ages and relationships of adult children to each spouse. This awareness helps attorneys anticipate potential external influences, whether positive or negative, and tailor their guidance accordingly. Attorneys play a crucial role in guiding their clients through the divorce process, taking into account the complexities when adult children are involved.

Divorce involving adult children is a complex experience that demands careful consideration from everyone that is involved. You should remember to rely on your legal team to guide you through the process, helping you to navigate the complexities when adult children become part of the divorce equation. By fostering open communication, avoiding partiality, and recognizing the long-term impact on family relationships, it is possible to mitigate the challenges and pave the way for a more amicable and respectful divorce process.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Florida Divorce: Five Common Questions 

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Getting a divorce can, at first, seem scary. There are a lot of unknowns, and yes, your life will change to some extent. But often, it is not the divorce or the prospect of being divorced that is so scary—it is the fear of the unknown.

Having some peace of mind about what happens in a divorce and getting some common questions answered can go a long way to making you feel better about it.

Will I Lose the Kids?

In almost every divorce involving children, nobody “loses” their kids. A court may or may not give you the amount of time-sharing (overnights) with the kids that you want, but the court will almost never completely prohibit a parent from seeing their kids or prohibit a parent from making decisions about the kids’ lives or from having a meaningful relationship with the kids.

Florida Divorce

Even if you ultimately do not get the number of overnights that you wanted, you still would have equal custody over your kids—that is, the ability to share in decisions about the child, like schooling, health, and other major decisions.

Even things that you think may disqualify a parent from having meaningful time with children, like adultery or alcohol or drug abuse, will not necessarily mean that a parent does not have custody or time-sharing over his or her children, so long as there is not an immediate, present danger to the children.

The exception is when a parent may present a danger to a child. But where possible, the court will allow a parent supervised visitation or allow a parent to get help to get over whatever is in their background that presents a danger, and then the court can revisit time sharing or custody in the future.

How Will I Pay My Bills?

Certainly, divorce is a financial strain; you are going from sharing expenses, like a mortgage, food, car payments, etc, to now having two separate sets of expenses. That is compounded by situations where there was, during the marriage, only one income earner.

If there are kids involved, the court can and will order that a fair amount of child support be awarded based on the child support guidelines, which will help pay for the kids’ expenses.

Outside of child support, the court can award alimony to a parent. Marriages that last more than seven years have a better chance at an alimony award, but even shorter-term marriages can, in some cases, have an alimony award.

Alimony payments can help the spouse receiving alimony through a temporary period or can even help pay the spouse’s expenses while the spouse “gets back on his or her feet” by going to college, getting training, or doing something to try to assimilate him or herself back into the workforce.

There is even the possibility of temporary alimony, which is paid while the divorce proceeding is going on. This can allow a spouse to live without having to worry about bills, even during the course of a longer-term, more contentious divorce.

How Long Will the Divorce Case Last?

The answer to this depends on you and your spouse. Like any legal case, the more you fight and the less room there is for compromise, the longer the case will go. Some couples that generally agree on most of the issues in the divorce may find that the case only lasts a few months.

Of course, there are some things that you cannot compromise on, and there are some people that just cannot be compromised with. So, the length of time your divorce goes on is somewhat, but not completely, dependent on you. Going to alternative dispute resolution, like mediation, can help resolve some, and sometimes all, of the issues in your case more quickly than they otherwise would be resolved.

Will I Lose My Property in the Divorce?

In most cases, people do not lose property entirely they will often have to divide property that is considered marital property.

Whatever belonged to a spouse before the marriage and which was not intermingled with the other spouse’s property will remain separate property and cannot be divided in the divorce. So, if you had an inheritance, kept it in a separate bank account in your name, and did not change that, that inheritance would remain yours.

But if you deposited that inheritance into a joint marital bank account, and then used some of the money to pay marital expenses during the marriage, then that property could be considered marital property subject to division.

Because most married couples tend to share property—not protect and hoard it for their own personal use—a lot of property tends to be subject to division. But not all property—and you can “trade off” property, where one spouse keeps 100% of some property, and the other spouse keeps 100% of another property, instead of liquidating or dividing a given asset.

Some property may not be able to be neatly divided, like a business, property, or land. That property may need to be sold, and the profits shared. Some property may even have to be valued by an expert to see what it is worth before it can be divided.

Again, mediation tends to work well for this kind of “give and take” or back and forth when it comes to property division.

How Do I Prepare for My Divorce Before it Happens?

How much to prepare depends on your situation. If you and your spouse are amicable, and both agree on the divorce and can cooperate, you may not need to prepare as much, knowing you will be OK, even after the divorce starts.

Absent that, some things you can do include:

  • Make sure that you have access to important documents that you need, including any (online or real-world) passwords or account numbers; although it is rare, to be safe, assume you will not be able to access this information the way you do now once the divorce starts.
  • The divorce will not leave you homeless, but in an emergency, have a friend or relative you and the kids can go to if you need a “safe space” or just somewhere to be for a night, just as a safe backup.
  • If you share online accounts with your spouse, like emails or bank accounts, print out hard copies of documents that you think you may need in case you lose access to those accounts

Do not let the unknown frighten you–get the answers you need in your divorce case.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

What Is A Child-Centered Divorce?

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January marks the observance of Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month. This prompts the opportunity for reflection. It’s crucial to focus on children’s well-being during divorce challenges. Let’s examine the importance of adopting a child-centered approach to divorce. A child-centered divorce requires conscious consideration of every decision made during the divorce process. As parents, you must consider how a choice related to housing, financial arrangements, or other aspects might impact their children. This approach keeps the children at the center of the divorce. They belong there.

child centered divorce

We advise that you should not discuss the process and progress of the divorce with your children. This will protect them from unnecessary anxiety. This simple guideline is often overlooked. But it fosters an environment where children can feel safe and secure. It also minimizes the negative emotional toll of the divorce.

The utilization of child specialists is a valuable resource. It is especially helpful when conflicts arise regarding parenting styles, time-sharing, or religious upbringing. These specialists act as mediators. They help discussions between you and your spouse and in mitigating conflicts. They also prioritize the best interests of the child.

Consider using physical symbols. For example, during a Collaborative Divorce conference, place a picture of the children at the center of the table. This serves as a tangible reminder of the primary focus. This simple yet powerful gesture serves as a visual cue. It helps you stay on track. You can resist getting entangled in emotional conflicts that may divert attention from the children’s needs.

The long-term impact of a child-centered divorce is profound. When children see their parents handle emotional conflicts maturely and without involving them, they are more likely to become emotionally resilient adults. Such children, having observed positive conflict resolution models, are less inclined to take sides and are better equipped to manage conflicts in their own relationships later in life.

A child-centered divorce isn’t just about the immediate well-being of the children involved; it’s an investment in their future emotional health. It also helps cultivate skills essential for building successful relationships as they navigate adulthood. It’s a powerful reminder that divorcing parents have the opportunity to shape not only their own destinies but also the future of the next generation.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

How Do We Tell Our Children That We Are Getting a Divorce?

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Breaking the news about your divorce to your children is one of the most difficult conversations you will ever have with your children. How you and your spouse handle this conversation matters. It is the first step in your divorce process in keeping your children’s well-being at the forefront of your divorce process.  Here are 5 tips how to talk to your children about divorce.

1. Both Parents Need to Be Present:

Talking to children

It is imperative that you deliver the news when both you and your spouse are present. This not only ensures that your children hear the information from both sources simultaneously but also fosters a sense of security. Often, children find out about divorce from one parent or overhear conversations, leading to a barrage of questions. When both parents are present, it establishes a united front, providing a safe space for the children to process the news and ask questions with the support of both parents.

2. Choose the Right Time:

Timing is crucial. Telling your children over a weekend rather than a school night is an excellent approach. This allows them the space and time to absorb the information without the immediate stress of academics. A Saturday morning is recommended, providing the entire weekend for them to digest and process the news. A conversation early in the weekend allows the children to have time to ask questions before they return to school.

This way, when they return to school on Monday, they may be in a better emotional state to handle the situation.

3. Proactive Communication and Age-Appropriate Responses:

Children often internalize blame during a divorce, thinking it’s their fault. It is important that you and your spouse are proactive about this issue. Addressing this concern before they ask demonstrates your awareness and prevents unnecessary guilt from settling in their minds. Furthermore, when explaining the reasons behind the divorce, tailor your responses to the age of your children. Younger children may need a more simplified explanation, while older ones may benefit from a more detailed conversation about the situation.

4. Addressing Future Concerns:

Anticipate that they will have questions about practical matters, such as living arrangements and potential school changes. If you don’t have all the answers, reassure them that decisions are being made with their best interests in mind. Create a supportive environment by assuring them that their concerns are valid and that you’re actively working on solutions.

5. Choose a Child-Centered Divorce Process:

Finally, be aware of the idea that you can choose a divorce process that can prioritize children’s well-being. Collaborative Divorce involves a neutral professional specifically trained in handling parenting plans. This out-of-court option empowers parents to make decisions that align with their children’s best interests, steering clear of potentially damaging court battles.

The journey of divorce is always an emotional challenge, but approaching the conversation with sensitivity, transparency, and a child-centric mindset can make a significant difference in how your children navigate this difficult time.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Child Support: Five Frequently Asked Questions

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Child Support Umbrella

When you are getting divorced with children, there may be a lot of conflicts about which parent will get more time with the kids. But with kids comes another issue when it comes to divorce — child support. Child support is often misunderstood, and there are commonly a lot of questions about child support. Here are five of the most common questions people have.

How is Child Support Calculated?

Florida law first establishes a grid that says how much total support (that is, money from both parents combined) that a child needs or requires. That support figure is based on the combined income of both parents; the more the parents make, the more the total support figure will be. It is also based on the number of children; more children will require more total support from both parents.

Of course, the total amount the kids need is usually not a point of contention (nor can it be, as it is written into the law)—the real argument often happens with parents deciding who will pay what portion of that total support amount. That’s where the child support formula comes into play.

Child support is calculated with a preset formula, which is established by Florida law. There is some room for a court to deviate from the formula—to adjust a parent’s child support obligation up or down—but not a lot of room to do so (only 5%).

The percentage each parent pays of the total amount of support the children need is based on each parent’s income. This is why, although the formula is already determined by law, couples often fight over child support: A parent’s child support obligation, according to the formula, will deviate and go up or down depending on what income numbers you put into the formula.

The formula is thus designed, to some extent, for the parent who makes more income to pay more child support. But that is not the only consideration: Time-sharing, or time the children spend with each parent, also plays into the child support equation.

When a parent has more nights with the children on a monthly basis, that parent is more likely to receive child support. That is because, logically, when the child is with that parent, that parent is paying for more of the child’s expenses, and that parent deserves to be reimbursed by the other parent for those expenses.

How is a Parent’s Income Determined for the Purpose of Child Support?

In the process of the divorce, each party will fill out full financial affidavits. These affidavits will identify all sources of income, as well as the value of assets owned by each parent, as well as expenses that each parent has.

Yes, people can—and unfortunately do—lie on their financial affidavits. You have the right to ask for proof of income from the other parent beyond the financial affidavit. That may include business income records, bank account records, or other documents showing what the other spouse may be making, spending, or depositing into bank accounts.

What Can Child Support Be Used for?

The law only says that one parent pays the other child support. It does not specifically require that the receiving parent use the money for the kids, nor does the law require any kind of accounting of how the funds are used. The law just assumes that if a parent is with a child, that parent is necessarily spending money on the child, and thus, whatever is paid in support is reimbursing that parent (at least in part) for those expenses.

How Long Will Someone Pay Child Support?

By law, child support either ends at the age of 18 or when the child graduates high school but must end at the age of 19 unless certain special circumstances exist. If a child is not currently on track to graduate high school, support will end when the child is 18, regardless of graduation.

Note that child support can continue beyond these time limits for children who may have special needs or disabilities. In fact, child support could go on indefinitely for children who have special needs. However, the establishment of longer-term child support must be established during the divorce or custody proceeding—you cannot wait until child support ends and then go back to the court and have it continued.

Can Child Support Be Changed or Modified Later?

Child support can always be modified with the required legal showings. The modification could increase or decrease child support.

To modify child support, the parent seeking to modify must show what is known as a “substantial change in circumstances” that is permanent.

That means that a parent’s temporary increase or decrease in income will not suffice to modify child support. Likewise, a minor change in a parent’s financial situation also won’t legally warrant a change in child support.

Either the paying or receiving parent can ask the court to modify child support—but if you are the paying spouse, you cannot just unilaterally lower your child support. You must get and obtain a court order lowering child support payments before changing what you pay in support.

The change in a parent’s situation may not just be financial. Often, a parent ends up spending more or less time with a child than the original divorce agreement or court judgment initially contemplated. When a parent ends up with more time with the kids than he or she was supposed to get, that parent may have a right to go back to court and ask for more child support, to have the support based on the increased time that that parent is having with the children.

Again, the change in time-sharing can’t just be an occasional or one-time occurrence; the change must be permanent and ongoing to warrant a substantial change in circumstances that is sufficient to show that child support should be increased or decreased.

Do not guess about your child support. Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce Decoded: 10 Questions Answered

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If you are headed for a divorce, it may seem like your future is blurry and confusing. You probably have a host of questions, both about your life post-divorce and about what will happen to you or your kids in the actual process of the divorce.

There is no shortage of questions, but let’s take a look at 10 common questions that people have when they go into a divorce.

1.  What Will Happen to the Children?

Divorce

This is a question that will depend on each individual case or situation, but assuming that both parents are fit and competent and have a meaningful relationship with the children thus far, a court must legally assume that a time-sharing arrangement where both parents have equal time with the kids is in the best interest of the children.

There are things that can alter this shared time-sharing, such as a parent’s living arrangements, whether equal time is not in the child’s best interest, or whether a parent has a lifestyle that isn’t conducive to equal time-sharing (for example, a parent who travels extensively for work).

2.  Will I Get Alimony?

Whether a spouse will get alimony largely depends on the duration of the marriage. Generally, shorter-term marriages, which lasted fewer than seven years, will ordinarily not get alimony (although it is possible), while a marriage lasting from 7 to 17 years has a better chance of getting alimony. More than 17 years, and there is a general assumption that alimony will be awarded—if there is a need.

Divorce cannot leave one spouse destitute and the other rich; both spouses are entitled to live the lifestyle they were accustomed to, to the extent possible. That said, often, when couples divorce, they will have to downgrade their lifestyles to some extent.

That’s because the court will also look at the ability of the paying spouse to actually pay. Divorced couples no longer have combined incomes, and it does happen that a court finds that a spouse cannot afford to pay alimony, even though it may be needed by the receiving spouse.

3. What Kind of Alimony Can I Receive?

Alimony can be awarded on a short-term basis to help restart someone’s life or even to help rehabilitate a spouse—for example, paying for educational expenses, paying alimony while a child is an infant, or paying while allowing a spouse to pursue a new career.

Alimony can also be awarded just for a shorter time period, without a “goal” of any kind.

In 2023, Florida ended permanent alimony, so as of now, that is no longer an option for alimony.

4.  Can I Stay in the Marital Home?

If parties cannot decide on their own who will live in the marital home while the divorce is going on, a party can ask the court to live in the home while the divorce is pending (or, if the home is ordered sold, until the home is actually sold).

A court will look at who has the means to live elsewhere and who does not, as well as what is best for the children. Any compelling reason why one spouse should be able to temporarily live in the marital home can be considered by the court.

5.  Will I Lose All My Property?

It is highly unlikely that anybody loses all of their property in a divorce. Only property considered marital property will be divided between the parties by the court. So, property that belonged to one spouse and remained the property of only that spouse, even throughout the marriage, will be considered non-marital and, thus, not subject to any division at all.

Property that is marital—that is, it was acquired during or appreciated in value during the marriage—will be divided.

Florida does not just divide property 50%-50%, rather, the court will look at what is equitable. This includes seeing which spouse made contributions to the property, which spouse put effort into the property, or which spouse may need the property (or the value of the property) more than the other.

If property is marital, almost any property can be divided by the court. If it cannot be physically divided or shared, like a home or a business, the court will order the property sold and the proceeds divided as the court thinks is appropriate. Property may have to be appraised or evaluated to see what its value is before division.

6.  Who Will Pay Bills During the Divorce?

A divorce case could take a long time to resolve if it is not settled quickly and amicably. While the divorce case is going on, bills and expenses are mounting—including bills like car payments or mortgages that must be paid.

Your family law lawyer can ask the court to make a temporary determination of who will pay what bills while the case is going on to keep the spouses from going into financial free-fall before the divorce is finalized.

7.  How is Child Support Calculated?

Florida uses a mathematical formula to determine child support. The combined incomes of both parents are used as a starting point. Spouses often argue about what each others’ combined income actually is. But once that is determined, the income numbers go into the formula.

The formula also takes into account how much time the children are with each parent. That means that parties may get very little child support if time-sharing is about equal between the parties, while support may increase if one parent gets the majority of overnights with the children.

8.  How Will I Pay an Attorney?

In some cases, where one spouse has a demonstrated ability to pay, and the other spouse can show that he or she cannot afford an attorney, the Court can order the higher-earning spouse to pay the attorneys fees of the lesser-earning spouse.

9. How Long Does a Divorce Case Take?

As you may expect, the answer to this question depends on how much there is to fight over. Spouses who can amicably resolve issues or go to mediation and work things out have a better chance of resolving their cases more quickly. Likewise, couples with no kids, and few assets, have a better chance of resolving their cases more quickly.

In an ideal scenario, where couples can work things out and come to agreements relatively quickly, a divorce could be finalized in about three to six months, but more contentious, argumentative cases can take years.

10. Can My Divorce Agreement or Court Judgment Be Changed Later on?

Although things like alimony, child support, or time-sharing can be altered or amended by a court later on, it is not an easy thing to do. There must be serious and permanent changes to allow a court to modify something you previously agreed to or which the court previously ordered. That means that you should focus on getting your divorce right during your initial case.

You may have many more questions than these. Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.