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Divorce

Collaborative Divorce: Resolving Marital Disputes Without the Courtroom Drama

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When we think of divorce cases, we tend to see them as black and white. On the one hand, you can go to court, litigate, and engage in a long, bitter divorce fight. On the other hand, you can just agree on everything and have a simple, uncontested divorce.

What About Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborating Together

But the reality is that there is actually a third category for resolving divorce cases: collaborative divorce.

Think of collaborative divorce as a hybrid between extended bitter in-court fighting and simply agreeing on everything from the outset.

On the one hand, there may be real disagreements between the parties, and they may not even necessarily get along. But they may also want to avoid the drawbacks of long, draining, and expensive in-court litigation. That’s where collaborative divorce comes in.

Much like alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation, collaborative divorce happens outside of a court. In fact, collaborative divorce requires that no divorce cases have actually been filed. If a divorce case is pending and the parties want to try a collaborative divorce, they must agree to stay or pause the case during the collaborative process.

Collaboration also requires that the parties agree that they will not file any divorce case while the issues in the case are trying to be resolved collaboratively.

Getting Representation for Collaborative Divorce

Both parties can be represented by an attorney, just as they would in court. The attorney you select cannot just be a family law attorney but must be specifically trained in collaborative divorce. Be aware that if an attorney represents you for the collaborative divorce, and the issues are not resolved, that attorney cannot then later represent you in any future divorce case that may be filed. You would have to find and retain a new attorney.

Your attorney is your attorney and is acting on your behalf during the collaborative process. But unlike contested divorce litigation, the goal for the attorneys on both sides isn’t to “win the case,” but rather to work together to find an amicable and agreeable solution that works for all sides. At meetings, each side’s attorney may even speak to the other spouse to get an idea of what he or she wants in the divorce and why.

Just as in mediation, the attorneys for both sides will try to agree on a neutral—a middle person who will help both parties work through the issues and negotiate.

Trying to Get to an Agreement

Both parties must sign an agreement indicating their agreement to participate. The agreement also obligates both parties to honesty, full disclosure of information, and keeping the matters in the collaboration confidential. Confidentiality can be a major benefit—the details of your divorce, while normally public as a publicly filed case in court, are now largely shielded from the public eye.

The parties will then meet to work out the issues. Often, this takes many meetings, but the good thing is that unlike court hearings, which often happen when the judge or your attorney can schedule them, collaborative divorce sessions can often be scheduled around your work or life schedule, adding to the convenience of collaborative divorces.

Other professionals may need to get involved if necessary. For example, if there are tax, immigration, or estate planning issues, complex financial assets, or even mental health professionals who may be needed, these outside experts can be hired to help.

If successful, the collaborative divorce results in the signing of a marital settlement agreement, a parenting plan if there are children, and whatever other documents are needed to facilitate the agreement reached between the parties. After that, one of the attorneys will notify the court that the parties have resolved all issues, and the court will enter the final dissolution of the marriage.

Cost and Time

In most cases, the entire process lasts for less than a year, although that may be much shorter if there are fewer issues involved. You can move as quickly or as slowly as you want, and you are not being rushed to any deposition hearings or trials the way you would in divorce litigation.

Almost every study of collaborative divorces has found that the average cost to the parties is significantly less than that of full-blown contested litigation.

Why the Process Works

Collaborative divorce works because it balances two prevailing interests that almost all divorcing spouses have.

On the one hand, divorcing spouses have real conflicts—even if they aren’t hostile or angry, there are almost always disputes about alimony, time-sharing, or division of property. Parties cannot afford to just “give in” to the other spouse just to avoid litigation.

On the other hand, family law litigation can be expensive and time-consuming. It also puts the decision-making power into the hands of a judge, taking it out of the hands of the parties. Parties would like to work things out easily and stress-free.

In many cases, parties to a divorce may want things that a divorce judge simply is not allowed to grant. For example, a spouse may want the other spouse to sign a confidentiality agreement, modify a will or a trust, allow grandparents rights with a child, or agree to terminate alimony at the occurrence of a given event.

Family court judges cannot grant these kinds of things, legally. But you and your spouse can, if you agree, and collaborative divorce gives you the chance to negotiate other things in your divorce that you couldn’t otherwise get with a judge making the decisions in your case.

Because collaborative divorce has elements of cooperation, honesty, and mutual benefit, the relationship between the divorcing parties may also be much better post-divorce than it otherwise might be.

Collaborative divorce works best when the parties are able to communicate and where there is no history of violence or abuse. It helps if the parties have a “give and take” mentality, whereby they are willing to bend a little to get a little in return for the issues in the divorce.

Is collaborative divorce right for you? Come learn more about it.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

How to Have a Civil Divorce

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When people think of divorce, it often conjures images of high conflict, emotional battles, and contentious court proceedings. However, there are options that can reduce the conflict and that allows for mutual respect thus making the divorce far more “civil”.

What is a “Civil Divorce”?

A civil divorce is characterized by an amicable and low-conflict separation process. It begins with a willingness for you and your spouse to end your marriage respectfully and cooperatively. Unlike the common perceptions of divorce as hostile and adversarial, a civil divorce works to keep the emotions in check and to reach mutual agreements outside of court.

Civil Divorce

While the emotions surrounding any divorce are intense, maintaining a civil approach requires a shift in your mindset. It involves that you both commit to a resolution that avoids court altogether. Although some divorces that are civil in nature can reach a judge, the essence of the divorce lies in cooperation and finding common ground.

Options for how to have a Civil Divorce

Achieving a divorce that is civil hinges on choosing the right process. Here are two effective methods:

  1. Mediation: Mediation involves a neutral third party, often a professional mediator, who facilitates discussions between you and your spouse. The mediator helps you to communicate effectively and reach agreements on various aspects of your divorce, such as asset division, child custody, and support. Mediation is typically low stress, stays out of court, and focuses on collaboration rather than confrontation. Mediation works best when you are both committed to remaining civil towards one another and working towards a mutually beneficial outcome.
  2. Collaborative Divorce: Collaborative Divorce is an out-of-court process that involves a team of professionals, including collaboratively trained attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial experts. In the beginning, you both agree that you will not go to court and work together with the team to resolve the issues. The collaborative process includes structured procedures and support systems to keep emotions in check and focused on a fair resolution. This method is particularly beneficial for couples who want to maintain a respectful relationship post-divorce, especially if you have children.

Why Strive for a Civil Divorce?

There are several compelling reasons to aim for a civil divorce:

  1. Impact on Children: When you have children, a civil divorce will reduce their emotional stress. Seeing their parents handle the separation with respect and cooperation will provide a sense of stability and security. Children are more likely to adjust well when they observe their parents getting along and working together amicably.
  2. Rational Decision-Making: High emotions can cloud judgment, especially when it comes to dividing assets and debts. A civil approach to your divorce allows you to think clearly and make rational decisions about financial matters. This helps ensure a fair division of property and reduces the likelihood of prolonged disputes.
  3. Emotional Well-being: A civil divorce minimizes the emotional toll on you, your spouse and your children. Through collaboration and mutual respect, you can get through the divorce process with less stress and bitterness, leading to healthier post-divorce relationships.

The fact is a civil divorce is not just a possibility but a choice. When you commit to an amicable approach, utilize Mediation or the Collaborative Divorce process, and focus on mutual respect, you can achieve a low conflict divorce that benefits everyone.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Understanding Spousal Support: Types, Factors, and Duration

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Whenever someone talks about a potential impending divorce, the discussion often turns to money- specifically, what one spouse will have to pay or what the receiving spouse will receive as spousal support – often called alimony.

Spousal Support Money

Alimony can be somewhat scary because it is not definite; there is no exact formula to tell potential divorcing spouses how much they can expect to receive, and although there are time frames for the duration of the marriage that suggest whether or not parties can expect alimony, there is nothing that says that a court absolutely has to award alimony to any spouse.

Also, remember that despite what we hear in popular culture, nothing in Florida law says that a man pays and a woman receives alimony; the law does not look at gender when awarding alimony. Alimony is strictly a financial decision made by a court.

What Factors are Considered?

While neither party can expect to live the exact same lifestyle financially divorced as they did married, courts will not allow one spouse to walk away with plenty of money and live the same lifestyle as they did during the marriage while the other spouse lives in poverty and hardship post-divorce.

Not every marriage ends in an alimony award. Aside from the duration of the marriage, which is considered by a court in awarding alimony, there must be both a need and an ability to pay alimony.

Courts often look to the standard of living that the couple enjoyed during the marriage to see if alimony should be awarded. In many marriages where both parties make a moderate income and have lived a moderate lifestyle and where both have the ability to work, there may be no alimony award at all.

Courts will also look at the contributions to the marriage that each spouse made, including any sacrifices that the spouses made for the success of the marriage. For example, a spouse who, during the marriage, stayed home to raise the children or who worked for no pay at the family business to help it gain and obtain success would be a candidate for alimony in a divorce.

Types of Alimony

There are a number of different types of alimony that can be awarded. Since Florida recently outlawed permanent alimony, although alimony can be long-term, it cannot be permanent.

Temporary alimony – This is alimony that is paid while the divorce case is going on. It is temporary because it may be terminated, modified, or eliminated once the final judgment of dissolution of marriage is entered. This is usually used in cases where it looks like there are a lot of issues to be resolved and, thus, where it looks like the divorce case could drag on for some time.

Bridge the Gap – Many courts will offer what is known as bridge-the-gap alimony. This is a type of alimony that is, as the name implies, intended to help someone transition from married to divorced life and to help them rebuild their lives.

The time frame is usually shorter—often about two years—and it can be used to help a spouse while he or she finds a job, or help them rent a new apartment, or help them get their own car—whatever the recipient spouse needs to “get back on their feet,” and build a new life, post-divorce.

Rehabilitative alimony – This is like bridge the gap, but has the purpose of helping a spouse get job retraining or helping a spouse get him or herself back into the job force. This is mostly for spouses who actually have a chance of getting back into the workforce.

There is no time frame for rehabilitative alimony. A spouse who, for example, needs to balance caring for a small child with going back to school may need rehabilitative alimony for longer than a childless person who can go to school or get job training, full-time, may need.

Durational alimony – Sometimes, there is no goal—for example, there is no rehabilitation involved in an alimony award. This is often called durational alimony. It is only awarded for a duration of time but not for any specific purpose. Durational alimony cannot be paid for more time than the marriage actually lasted.

Lump Sum – Many people talk about lump sum alimony. Lump sum alimony is, just as the name implies, alimony paid all at once instead of over time, the way other forms of alimony are paid.

Lump sum alimony can also be used when courts feel that it is best for the parties to get a clean break from each other (for example, if there is a history of domestic violence involved). It may also be used if a lump sum is necessary to help the recipient spouse in some specific way—for example, if the recipient spouse wants to start a business or buy a home.

Negotiating Alimony

Often, assets can be exchanged for alimony instead of being paid alimony.

For example, if a husband has two extra vehicles, and each is worth $70,000, the husband may give the vehicles to the wife to satisfy an alimony award that would, if paid over time, amount to $140,000.

Alternatively, a party may accept more marital debt than he or she normally would have to burden to satisfy an alimony award. If there is $100,000 in marital credit card debt, and each spouse should bear half of that amount, a spouse may opt to bear 100% of the debt and not pay the other spouse $50,000 of alimony.

Note that these kinds of alternative arrangements are not usually possible in court—a judge often will not work these kinds of arrangements out. These more flexible solutions often are only possible in mediation or other alternative dispute resolutions to divorce.

The End of Alimony

Aside from ending because the time frame for the alimony as ordered by the court or as agreed to by the parties expires, alimony can also end when a party is involved in a supportive relationship with someone else.

The recipient spouse doesn’t have to actually remarry (although remarriage will terminate alimony). So long as one spouse is being financially supported in some meaningful way by someone new, the paying spouse can ask to terminate the alimony obligation.

What can you expect in alimony in your divorce?

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

If you find this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce: Finding a Path to Healthier Family Dynamics

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Divorce is often seen as a dividing line that severs all relational ties, but it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, preserving relationships after a divorce—whether with your children, extended family, or even your ex-spouse—can create a healthier post-divorce environment for everyone. With the right mindset and approach, you can maintain relationships that allow all parties, especially children, to feel secure and valued.

Setting the Right Goals

Family Dynamics

If you have children, prioritizing their emotional well-being should be at the forefront of your goals for the divorce. Children benefit from seeing a united front and knowing that you both still care about their happiness and security. This means fostering a cooperative parenting relationship. Letting your children know that they are loved and valued and that they remain part of a family that has been restructured can greatly reduce their emotional stress.

Similarly, your ex-in-laws and extended family are also important to your children. These individuals may not have always been easy for you to get along with, but they will still play a role in your children’s lives. Maintaining a civil relationship with them can help your children to have the support system they need without the tension that family conflict can bring.

Choosing the Right Divorce Process

The way you handle your divorce will impact your ability to preserve relationships afterward. Divorce proceedings can be conducted either through traditional in-court litigation or out-of-court options like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. In-court divorces are inherently adversarial, which often escalates conflict, fuels resentment, and may harm your ability to communicate with your ex-spouse after the divorce is over. This makes it difficult to maintain a friendly or even civil post-divorce relationship.

Out-of-court methods, on the other hand, offer a more peaceful approach. Mediation, for example, involves hiring a neutral third party to help you to reach a mutually agreeable settlement. This process keeps emotions in check, as you work together rather than against each other. Similarly, the Collaborative Divorce process involves a team approach where you and your spouse, with the advice of your attorneys and neutral divorce professionals help you to negotiate a fair outcome with the shared goal of staying out of court. By sidestepping the adversarial nature of court, out-of-court options offer a path to resolution that prioritizes harmony over hostility, helping you maintain healthy relationships post-divorce.

Preserving Friendships and Other Family Connections

Divorce doesn’t only impact the relationship with your ex-spouse; it can also strain friendships and connections with extended family. These relationships may be caught in the crossfire if they are drawn into your divorce drama. By choosing a cooperative divorce process, you can keep these friends and family members from feeling like they need to “choose sides.” When friends and extended family aren’t forced to take sides, they’re less likely to feel awkward or uncomfortable continuing relationships with both you and your ex-spouse after the divorce.

Moving Forward with a Positive Outlook

Preserving relationships after divorce requires you to shift your perspective. As one old saying goes, “It may not be easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard.” Embrace this new chapter with an understanding of what is best for everyone and especially your children. Putting aside past conflicts and focusing on cooperation can pave the way for positive relationships that foster healthy connections for years to come.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Navigating the Journey: Insights and Support for Women Going Through Divorce

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If you look online or perhaps in the self-help section at the local bookstore, you will find a lot of books explaining how to pick up the pieces of your life after your divorce is over. There are many positive aspects to the fresh start, the new beginnings, and the opportunities available to you after your divorce.

Women's Journey Through Divorce

But what about during your divorce? If you have a quick divorce, perhaps one that resolves collaboratively or through a quick and early mediation, this may not be an issue, given that the divorce case itself is so short.

But for longer, more contentious, and thus, drawn-out divorces, the period of going through your divorce can last much longer—perhaps years. How do you cope with and manage your life during divorce?

Plan Ahead

One of the first things that you can do, if possible, is to plan for a drawn-out divorce in advance—even if you think your case may resolve amicably and quickly.

Plan out how you will pay the bills or where you will live. According to one study in 2018, women have an almost 30% reduction in household income during and after a divorce. If you are amicable with your spouse, plan out a tentative schedule with the kids (even though this tentative schedule will not be legally binding, it may at least give you some framework and consistency once the divorce case begins).

Taking Care of Business

Are there things that your husband or wife took care of during the marriage? Many people find that they are overwhelmed at the prospect of suddenly going from sharing household chores, duties, and responsibilities to having to do all of them on their own.

In many marriages, one spouse has less information than the other when it comes to insurance policies, passwords, contact with creditors (like mortgage companies or car loan companies), or other important entities. Try to gather as much information as you can so that you are prepared to manage these things on your own while the divorce is pending—all while possibly helping raise one or more children and working.

Getting Social Help

Some people going through divorce find that they get some solace in dating again quickly, even while their divorce case is still pending. Others prefer to wait much longer. Others will not date but will find social circles to occupy their time and to divert themselves.

Nowadays, there are ample groups that can be found online and that meet in real life. Try searching for singles groups or social groups that meet in your area—even if you are not looking to date again, many of these groups engage in social activities and gatherings, and many may even have other members who are going through or who went through exactly what you are going through.

Someone to Talk to

One of the best strategies for navigating the stresses of a divorce is simply having someone to talk to. That can be a family member or a friend. They do not have to give legal advice; they just have to be a helpful and friendly ear. In fact, you do not have to speak with them about your case at all. Just having someone to vent to after a tough day at work can do a lot for your mental health during a divorce case.

Speak With Your Employer

If you work with a boss and you are comfortable doing so, consider having a talk with your boss about your divorce. This is so that your employer knows that you may need to leave every now and then to pick up the children from school, or take the children to an after-school activity, or get to a government office to obtain or renew paperwork – things that your spouse may have helped you with when you were married.

Communicating the difficulties you are facing and the time that you will need to your employer can keep the lines of communication open so that your employer does not wonder why, out of the blue, you may be out of work more than you were or showing up late more frequently than you were in the past.

Grief is Natural

Whether your divorce is amicable or not, grief is a large part of a divorce—even divorces where you may have initiated the divorce, where you were very unhappy in the marriage, or where you are truly happy to be getting away from your spouse, or where you know the divorce is the right thing to do.

Grief can come from feeling the loss of future expectations or of a life that you thought you would have but will not.

That is natural and to be expected. Do not be afraid to get professional help or even just help from friends. There is nothing wrong with, on the one hand, wanting or initiating the divorce while at the same time feeling very sad or guilty about it happening.

Using Apps to Communicate

Many people simply do not want to communicate with their ex after a divorce. But if you have minor children, communication may be a necessity for the purposes of time-sharing and other issues regarding the kids.

Speak to your attorney about, or look into, using parental communication apps if you really cannot communicate effectively with the other parent. These apps filter out hostile or unwanted communications or communications that do not relate to the children.

They also encourage both parents to be cordial to each other in that many apps will record the communications between the parties. Just having the app there can be a security blanket, as it is not the “direct texting” that many people want to avoid having with the other parent.

Get a Helpful Attorney

Remember that your attorney is not just your legal advisor in a divorce. This is someone who will be helping you deal with very emotionally charged issues.

Find an attorney who, of course, knows family law, but also someone who understands the personal side of divorce and how it affects people. The more comfortable you are speaking with your attorney, the more likely you will be to ask questions, and thus, the less stressful your divorce will be, armed with answers to those questions.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

If you find this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce: 4 Tips on How to Manage the Holidays

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If you are going through a divorce, how you are going to handle the holidays can be a challenge. One of the most important things to remember is to focus on what truly matters: the well-being of your children. Here are four tips for managing the holidays with grace and ensuring a smooth transition for your family:

Honor Old Traditions, Create New Ones

Holidays and Divorce

One of the most difficult aspects of the holidays during a divorce is the shift in traditions. As a couple, you have probably shared holiday routines that are now disrupted. It is important to recognize that while you may want to create new traditions for yourself and your children, maintaining some familiar ones could also be comforting to them. Ask your children what traditions they value and, if possible, honor those. At the same time, introduce new rituals that represent the start of a new chapter, while keeping their happiness at the forefront.

Consider Sharing the Holidays, If Appropriate

If you are going through a non-adversarial divorce, like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce, spending some of the holidays together might be an option. However, this only works if you both feel comfortable. Any lingering tension could negatively affect the atmosphere and the children. You should also assess how your children feel about sharing the holidays. Some children may enjoy the experience, while others may prefer celebrating separately with each parent, potentially enjoying the benefits of “two Christmases.”

Take Care of Yourself

In going through your divorce during the holidays, you may feel a sense of loneliness when your children spend time with the other parent. Be proactive and plan ahead. Reach out to family or friends, join holiday gatherings, or use this time to indulge in activities you love but rarely have time for. Taking care of yourself is an important part of maintaining emotional well-being during this transitional period. You should also remember that your children are happy, spending time with both parents. Knowing that your children are happy should bring some peace.

Communication is Key

Lastly, communication with your co-parent is critical. Plan the holiday schedule in advance and keep the lines of communication open, to ensure that decisions about the children are made collaboratively. This reduces stress and ensures that the holidays run smoothly, allowing your children to benefit from a peaceful environment.

Ultimately, putting your children first and maintaining a cooperative approach with your ex-partner is the key to a successful holiday season during a divorce.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124,
Winter Park, FL 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email An*****@************aw.com or visit www.AnthonyDiazLaw.com.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.