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Divorce and Children

Parenting Plans: The Advantages of Making a Parenting Plan

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Let’s say that you are in the process of a divorce, and things look like they are being finalized. It seems like you and your spouse have agreed on many issues—including issues related to the children. But then your attorney tells you that you and your ex need to agree on another document — a parenting plan. It seems like a long, detailed document…do you have to do it? What are the benefits of doing a parenting plan…?

What is a Parenting Plan?

Parenting Plans

Parenting plans are relatively new in the world of family law. First required in 2018, parenting plans are a roadmap for parents to figure out almost every aspect of co-parenting children’s lives. The parenting plan is as long as it is because it covers almost every conceivable issue that divorced couples may encounter when it comes to making joint decisions about a minor child.

The model parenting plan, developed by the Florida Supreme Court can be found here.

The parenting plan will have time-sharing schedules, but it goes beyond just time-sharing and visitation. It will also cover things like who gets the kids during which holiday breaks, who has the right of first refusal if a parent cannot watch a child, who will take and pay for the kids’ medical expenses, and extracurricular activities.

It will handle and address emergencies, vacations, school conferences, pick up and drop off locations, and a host of other details that you, in the midst of a divorce, and likely never having encountered this situation before, would never have thought of otherwise.

Your parenting plan is a plan that is agreed to by both parties—a judge can impose one on you, or else, create their own order, but obviously, you would much rather develop the parenting plan with your spouse, and work out arrangements that are best for both of you as opposed to leaving these decisions in the hands of a judge.

There actually are multiple parenting plans, some for parents who are more amicable and do not need so many details arranged in advance, and others that are more detailed, for parents who may anticipate fighting and conflict, and would rather have all the details agreed to in writing in advance. There are even parenting plans for parents who are or anticipate living a good distance from each other.

The Benefits of a Plan

Why make a plan? Even if you have to do it legally, what are the advantages of even doing one, or putting time or effort, or consideration into it?

The main advantage is avoiding conflict—and potentially litigation—later on.

The parenting plan lets both parents know what is going to happen in the future and informs both of their rights when it comes to the child.

In the old days, a typical mediation or settlement agreement may not have addressed every single minute detail of a joint child-rearing arrangement. Parents, usually new to the divorce process, would not know what issues will or could come up next month, year, or ten years down the line.

As a result, the typical medication or settlement agreement was often open to interpretation or ambiguity. Parents who had conflict would look to their agreement to see which parent was in the right and would find nothing in their divorce paperwork addressing what they were looking for.

The result would be fighting, conflict, no way to know who was “right,” and ultimately, if it got bad enough, ex-spouses would end up back in court.

Save the Fighting

On the surface, a parenting plan seems like more to fight about. It’s a long detailed document that you and your ex are going to have to agree to. But parenting plans are written in plain, easy-to-understand language. They have fill-in-the-blanks or lines for parents to write things in.

That gives them a big benefit: you and your ex can sit down together (to the extent possible), and try to discuss, and agree to things in advance. Of course, if you have a family law attorney, you can and should discuss these things with him or her first—but the ease and plain language of a parenting plan does provide some flexibility for you and your spouse to come to some agreement, even on some of the issues, before and instead of spending a lot of money on legal fees.

The end result is that you actually have less to fight about in your divorce because all of these details have been resolved separately by you and your ex-spouse.

In Your Hands

The parenting plan has another advantage, that is common to other forms of resolved conflict, like mediation: you are putting things in your own hands, instead of a judge’s.

In court, a judge could decide whatever they want when it comes to any of the items on that extensive parenting plan. In court, in the hands of a judge, there is no “back and forth,” that is, you cannot say to your spouse “I will let you do this if you let me do that.” It is all up to the court.

But the parenting plan empowers you. You can “give up” the items on the plan that are not as important to you, and fight for the things that are important to you. You can re-write some of the language, add things, or create new provisions that may be unique to your own specific situation.

When you are finally done, you will be grateful that you have a “roadmap” to co-parenting with your spouse. You will have a document that specifically says what you and your spouse can and cannot do. In the end, if done properly, the parenting plan will potentially save you a lot of time, arguing, conflict, and money.

Questions about child custody, visitation, time-sharing, or your parenting plan?

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Is Your Marriage Over? There Is A Reason To Believe

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As we progress into the New Year, couples who put off dealing with the end of their marriage over the holidays have come out in full force. Since there is nothing else between them and their contemplated divorce, the biggest question is HOW? With the advent of many different forms of divorce resolution other than traditional litigation through the court system, the Collaborative Process has taken the country by storm as it gains popularity in Florida.

Divorce

One of the biggest and more important questions is the role of the attorney in Collaborative Divorce. How are they different than if the case was in court? Will they still advocate for my best interests? Why should I choose you to be my Collaborative attorney. With all of these issues being quite relevant in the decision of whether the Collaborative Process is the right alternative, you will find an great article attached explaining what a collaboratively trained attorney can do for their client. You will be amazed at the many benefits a Collaborative lawyer can provide during this process. It may come as a surprise to you that these are the same benefits derived from a divorce litigator at less cost, less time and less animosity than going to court.

Going through a divorce is no walk in the park but with the Collaborative process there is a reason to believe that the end of your marriage can have a good ending. Please call my office to find out more about how to divorce with dignity and understanding. If I listen long enough to you, I’d find a way to believe that the outcome of your divorce being peaceful and civil is all true.

This process works, this process is for you, this is Collaborative Divorce!
In-Joy the theme appropriate song and lyrics accompaniment!
Click here to read What Collaborative Counsel Does for the Collaborative Client by Laurie Israel, Esq.
Click here and enjoy Reason to Believe

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Parenting Plans: Crafting an Effective Framework

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When you are going through a divorce with children involved, there are a lot of issues that need to be worked out between the parents when it comes to raising the children and paying for their needs. Even if you do agree on things like child support, visitation, or time-sharing, themselves contentious, time-consuming issues to work out, there are still so many details that need to be agreed upon by the parents.

Who will pick up and drop off the kids? What extracurriculars will they participate in, and who pays? What about uncovered medical expenses? Who decides on the child’s diet? Literally, every detail of a child’s life needs to be coordinated between the two now-divorced parents.

A Lot of Fighting

In the old days, this led to a lot of very costly, time-consuming, and expensive fighting. Getting parents who may be hostile to one another to agree to anything is tough, but now they have to agree to every single detail about raising the child, now and in the future, and coordinate their co-parenting activities as divorced parents.

If parents forgot any detail about any of this when the divorce was finalized, they would likely be back in court, fighting about it later on.

The Move to Parenting Plans

That’s why, in 2018, Florida moved to what is known as a parenting plan. A parenting plan is a pre-written form, with almost every detail about the child’s life, upbringing, and coordination between parents, pre-written on a form. All the parents have to do is fill in blanks or check in boxes.

The parenting form, which can be found here, contains things that you may not, at first, think about. For example, the form has:

  • Every detail of when the children are with which parent, both on a regular basis, as well as during extended school breaks and holidays. The plan has model time-sharing schedules, which provide equal or near equal time with each parent (sometimes called 4/3/3/4, 7/7, 2/2/3/3, Or 2/2/5/5 rotating schedules), but the parents can opt for an unequal schedule, where one parent has more than 50% of the overnights with the kids.
  • Who registers the kids in extracurricular activities, and who pays for what percentage of the expenses related to the activities.
  • When it comes to time with the kids when the kids don’t have school, which child’s school schedule will be used (if there are multiple kids in different schools).
  • How emergency time-sharing changes are handled.
  • Who gets to choose vacation dates with the child first.
  • Who transports the kids to the other parent, and who pays what percentage of those costs.
  • Which parent’s address is used as the contact address for the kids.
  • How often and by what medium the parents can communicate with each other, as well as with the kids when they are with the other parent.

Parents may also want to include items for the future, especially if there are young kids so that the parenting plan doesn’t need to be revisited when young children reach the teenage or young adult years.

This is just a short list to give you an example of the detail that is contained in a parenting plan. At first, it may seem onerous to fill the entire form out. But the goal is to reduce the confusion and ambiguity that often lands parents back into court later on and to provide clarity about the rights and responsibilities of the parents.

There is even a separate parenting plan for parents who are long distance from each other, with provisions that are unique to parents in this situation. There are separate parenting plans for parents who are generally amenable to working out problems or situations as they may arise in life, and a more structured, rigid plan, for parents who do not work well together and, thus, may need more details included in the parenting plan.

You Can be Flexible

Although the parenting plan is a pre-written “fill in the blank” form, that does not mean that parents have to stick to the constraints of the form. Parents are free to modify, add to, or alter the form in whatever way fits their unique situation.

There is no right way or wrong way to fill out a parenting plan. The parents can model the plan how they see fit, with whatever provisions work for them. For example, parents can include who will pay for a minor’s car when the minor gets old enough or how the parents will save money for the child’s eventual college education. Parents can add, subtract or modify language in the plan.

Parents who resolve their differences through mediation or some other out-of-court resolution have more flexibility, given that they can craft whatever they want in a parenting plan without just relying on what a judge decides.

A judge will ultimately have to approve of a parenting plan, but so long as the parties agree and there is nothing harmful in the plan to the children, most judges will approve the plan that the parents have agreed to in mediation or through negotiation.

Considerations for the Parenting Plan

There are a number of factors you should consider when filling out your parenting plan. Some of the more important ones include:

  • How well the parents get along and communicate—the better communication is, the less rigid or detailed the parenting plan may have to be
  • If a parent has a less flexible work schedule or a schedule that does not work as well with a child’s school schedule, that should be considered
  • If a parent may, possibly, need to relocate more than 50 miles from the other parent
  • How familiar the child is with his or her school or neighborhood, and the proximity to the child’s friends or extended family
  • Whether a child has special needs or disabilities which may alter the ability of the child to go from one home to the other on a regular basis

Your parenting plan is a vitally important document in your divorce and in your child’s life. Make sure you have attorneys that can explain it to you and give you the pros and cons of any decisions or choices you make on the form. We can help you craft a parenting plan that works for you. Contact us for help with your time-sharing and child custody case or for help with your parenting plan.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

How to Get More Parenting Time With Your Child

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In any child custody case, the child (or children) of the marriage cannot be in two places at the same time. They either will live with one parent or the other on given nights of the week or throughout the year, and one parent will often have more of those nights than the other.

If You Have Visitation

The first thing to remember is that if you are the parent with “visitation,” which often means that you have fewer of the nights with the child, this is not a reflection on you, or your quality as a parent. There are a lot of factors that play into whether a parent is the primary time-sharing parent, or whether a parent gets visitation, and many of those factors have nothing to do with you, or your skills, quality, or worth as a parent.

The fact that you have visitation also does not affect your right to raise your child and make decisions about your child’s life. A parenting plan, custody agreement, or other document will be drafted and agreed upon between you and your spouse, which will detail what each parent has responsibilities for, and rights over, in the child’s life. The fact that you have visitation never takes away your constitutional right to make crucial decisions about your child’s upbringing, health and welfare.

Of course, despite all of this, many parents may understandably want as much visitation as possible. How does that happen? What are the factors that a judge or a court will look at now or in the future, in determining how much visitation that you will have with your child?

The Child’s Safety and Environment

Some factors are obvious and go without saying: the court will want to see that you provide a safe environment for your child, where the child’s needs are met. Understanding age-appropriate activities, keeping the child safe from exposure to drugs and alcohol or other dangers, are paramount.

That may also include your presence in the child’s life. That means that parents who work multiple jobs, or who may put their social life ahead of time with their child, may find visitation time reduced. Showing that you have the time and willingness to be an active, present and involved parent, will help show the court that you should get as much visitation as possible.

The court will want to disrupt the child’s life as little as possible. If you are out of the child’s school district, or far from the child’s friends or extra-curricular activities, that may affect the parenting time or visitation that you have with the child.

The court may look to the child’s physical environment. Does your child have his or her own room where you live? Are there activities that the child enjoys near you? Do you have family or relatives near you who are an active part in the child’s life?

The Other Parent

There are also a number of things that you can control, and things that you can do, to demonstrate that you should have as much visiting and parenting time with your child as possible.

One major thing you can do, is to have a healthy, working relationship with the child’s other parent, and that you refrain from belittling, insulting or fighting with the other parent in front of the child. Showing your child what a bad parent the other parent is, will not help you get more time with the child—it will have the opposite effect.

This does not mean that you have to be best friends with the other parent. It is OK and natural to maintain some hostility or anger towards the other parent. But that should never show up in front of the child, and the child should not be used as a “weapon” to “get back” at the other parent.

Use the Time You Have

You should also fight to have more time with your child, or if there is some kind of visitation schedule in place formally or informally with the other parent, you should exercise the visitation that you do have.

There are many parents who fight for visitation, and then when they get visitation time with the child, they proceed to miss pickup times, or they leave the child with babysitters, or just allow the other parent to have the child.

Of course, emergencies happen, and there is nothing wrong with parents working together to accommodate the other parent if schedules need to be rearranged or time needs to be missed. But the court will be hesitant to give you visitation (or more visitation), if it looks like you are not even using the time that you have with the child.

Be There for the Child

Be present in your child’s life-no matter where the child is physically located. For example, just because Thursday is mom’s night with the child, does not mean that you, as the dad, cannot go to the child’s play, or baseball game, or parent night at school. Make sure that all organizations where your child goes or attends, have both parents listed as contacts.

Track Time With the Child

If you have an informal visitation schedule, or if you do have an established schedule, but you and the other parent have deviated from it, keep track of any extra time that you are spending with the child (and any time the other parent is voluntarily passing up time with the child).

If you ever wanted to go back to court to ask a court to give you more visitation or parenting time, you will then have evidence of the time you are spending with the child, and of the time the other parent voluntarily gave up his or her time with the child.

There are things you can do to improve your chances of getting as much time with your child as possible after a divorce, or in a paternity action.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

Divorce With Kids

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Divorce is never easy, but when children are involved, it can be even more difficult. However, it does not have to be.

In Florida, the parents must determine how to best split their time with their children and what arrangements need to be made for child support and other expenses. This process, known as mediation, is required before filing for divorce. It is required in order to try to come to an agreement about the issues surrounding childcare. If mediation is unsuccessful, the court will make decisions based on the best interests of the children.

However, there are many benefits to mediation, including that it can be less expensive and take less time than going to court.

Grounds for Divorce in Florida

Florida is a no-fault divorce state, which means that either party in a marriage may file for divorce without having to allege any wrongdoing by the other party. The two acceptable grounds for divorce under this “no-fault” rule in Florida are irreconcilable differences and mental incapacity.

For example, if one spouse has been living separately from the other for a while, the separation will likely be considered permanent, and the spouse may file for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. Other types of irreconcilable differences may include having different religious beliefs, different parenting styles, and addictions, among others.

The types of mental incapacity in Florida divorce are defined in section 744.331, Florida Statutes. These include:

  • A lack of intelligence or comprehension;
  • A lack of understanding or memory;
  • An inability to reason or make decisions;
  • An inability to communicate.

If a party alleges that the other party is mentally incapacitated, the party may file a petition for “no-fault” divorce on this ground.

Types of Divorce in Florida

In Florida, there are three types of divorce: simplified dissolution of marriage, uncontested divorce, and contested divorce.

A simplified dissolution of marriage is a quick and easy way to get divorced. To qualify for a simplified dissolution of marriage, you must meet certain requirements, such as having no children and agreeing on how to divide your property.

An uncontested divorce is also relatively quick and easy to obtain. In an uncontested divorce, the parties agree on all terms of the divorce via mediation, including child custody, child support, and property division.

A contested divorce is more complicated and can take longer to resolve. In a contested divorce, the parties do not agree on all terms of the divorce that have been discussed during mediation. The parties must thus attend a hearing before a judge, who will decide how to divide the property, how to divide the children, and other important issues; the judge will make all of the decisions for them.

What Happens After a Person Files for Divorce in Florida?

After an individual files for a divorce in Florida, the next step is usually to serve the papers to the other spouse. The papers will state details about the proposed divorce. If the other spouse contests the divorce, they will have a chance to argue their case in front of a judge. If they do not contest it, the divorce can proceed without a hearing. In either case, both spouses will have to attend mediation.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a process where spouses can work out the terms of their divorce with the help of a neutral third party, called a mediator. The mediator helps the spouses communicate and negotiate until they reach an agreement on all aspects of their divorce, including child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. Unlike a traditional divorce where the spouses argue in court and the judge makes all the decisions, mediation allows the spouses to have more control over their divorce.

Mediation is especially beneficial for couples who want to avoid lengthy litigation and keep their divorce as amicable as possible. In addition to being less expensive than a traditional divorce, mediation also often results in a more fair and balanced settlement agreement. Couples who mediate are also noted to be more likely to follow through with the terms of their agreement than those who go to court.

Is Divorce Mediation Like a Court Proceeding?

Some people think that divorce mediation is similar to a court proceeding, but there are actually several key differences. In a court proceeding, the judge will make decisions about child custody, property division, and alimony. In mediation, the couple works together to come up with their own agreements.

Another difference is that the mediator does not decide anything for the couple, but instead helps them come to an agreement. The mediator works with the couple to help them reach their own decisions based on their own unique situation and interests.

The Benefits of Mediation in a Divorce With Kids

A contested divorce can quickly turn into a battle of wills, with each parent trying to make the other look bad in front of the kids. This can leave the children feeling stuck in the middle and torn between the two parents.

Mediation can help divorcing parents come to an agreement without having to go “battle it out” in court. In mediation, both parents meet with a mediator who helps them negotiate an agreement. This process can be less stressful for the children, since they don’t have to worry about their parents “fighting” in court. Mediation also allows both parents to have a say in the decisions that affect their children.

Generally, the following goals are often achieved:

  • The parents have more control;
  • The kids feel more secure;
  • Resolution is reached more quickly;
  • The kids are less likely to suffer from depression or anxiety;
  • The kids are more likely to cooperate with the process.

You Can Count on Our Florida Divorce Lawyers for Support

Divorce with kids can be difficult, but it is possible to make it easier with the help of mediation. If you are considering a divorce, or are in the middle of one, please reach out for help.

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.

The Greatest Love of All

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“The Universe is a stage on which your mind dances with your body, guided by your heart.”
As we enter into the month of Love, how is your relationship? As we examine the quality of our intimacy, we may be asking the question “What is love”? Is it an emotion, is it a feeling? Or is it something greater? Coming from a place of love, we are born with this ever expanding all powerful juggernaut inside of us. It’s not learned nor is it developed, but part of our DNA makeup. It’s already inside of us awaiting our experiencing it for ourselves. When we reflect on the many gifts from singer Whitney Houston, we are reminded of how she so eloquently expressed this as the “Greatest Love of All”.

As we grew up, in many ways it became harder and harder to fully express our unconditional love. We allowed outside circumstances to affect us inside.  Sometimes we craved for love from someone else and lost our way instead of knowing it’s always inside of us awaiting its unconditional expression.

As we define love and how it shows up in our relationships with others, it’s great to express our love for someone else. But are we doing the same for ourselves? How do we feel if we’re not in a relationship…if we don’t get a card for Valentine’s Day? Do you remember making and giving Valentine’s Day cards as kids? Remember how excited you were getting one from someone else or how upset you were if you didn’t. A great exercise in teaching self-love at a young age would be to have children send Valentine’s Day cards to themselves. This is a way to let them experience the feeling of loving who they are exactly the way they are. The “Greatest Love of All” talks about our children and how we must start very young “showing them all the beauty they possess inside”.
Love may be explained as an emotion, a feeling we express; but in the bigger picture, love is a state of being. When someone talks about being in love, it’s usually describing another person. But actually we are always in love…with ourselves, with how we live our life. Being able to express love to someone else begins by learning to love yourself unconditionally. When you do, it cannot be taken away. If you are having trouble loving yourself, it doesn’t mean it’s not there…you just haven’t been able to tap into that place of unlimited unconditional love.

How can we do that? How can we go to the place we were before or maybe never for some? Close your eyes and think of that laughing baby who is feeling total unabandoned love. That baby in you wants to express its unconditional, unlimited love of yourself, of life, of everything and everyone. Feel  that feeling, whatever that feels like…that’s the place to come from always in all ways.

When we realize that we are the love in our life, we begin the path on our journey to being in a loving, healthy relationship. Loving yourself is not only the way we allow ourselves the joy of loving another – it’s a state of being that starts and ends your life and everything love in between.  That’s the place of the Greatest Love of All.

!n-Joy my friends!…Namaste

Anthony J. Diaz is an experienced family law attorney focusing on Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. His offices are located at 2431 Aloma Ave Suite #124, Winter Park, FL. 32792 and 3720 Suntree Blvd., Suite 103G, Melbourne, FL. 32940.

You may contact Anthony Diaz by calling 407-212-7807 or by email an*****@************aw.com or visit anthonydiazlaw.com for more information.

And if you found this article helpful, please leave us a review HERE.